Friday, October 17

Previous Issues

Donate now

Submit a tip

Follow us on Instagram
Try our free mini crossword
Subscribe to the newsletter
Download the app

Sawyer Dilks

We messed up …

we are sorry

We messed up …

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | September 24

Princeton’s StandUp to Hazing training has opened our eyes to the suffering of our poor writers, and we thank the course for creating such an accessible avenue for legitimate discourse within our organization. Consider this our official apology for the hazing incidents that took place over the course of the last academic year.

Princeton’s StandUp to Hazing training has opened our eyes to the suffering of our poor writers, and we thank the course for creating such an accessible avenue for legitimate discourse within our organization. Consider this our official apology for the hazing incidents that took place over the course of the last academic year.

TigerTease, the brand new application guaranteed to get you some action

dom media for humor dating app piece

TigerTease, the brand new application guaranteed to get you some action

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | February 13

Introducing TigerTease, the only application that lets you know when the baddie in your zee group has broken up with their high school relationship. To learn more about the app’s features, we spoke with Deepa Insaichu, a senior in the Computer Science Department and member of the Residential College Advising program at Rockefeller College.

Introducing TigerTease, the only application that lets you know when the baddie in your zee group has broken up with their high school relationship. To learn more about the app’s features, we spoke with Deepa Insaichu, a senior in the Computer Science Department and member of the Residential College Advising program at Rockefeller College.

‘Magnitude 3.5 earthquake aftershock’ actually just caused by first-year merch drop

Three stick figures drawn in black with bright red eyes next to a tan sweatshirt above the words “Frosh when free merch.”

‘Magnitude 3.5 earthquake aftershock’ actually just caused by first-year merch drop

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | 04/16/2024

Upon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor. 

Upon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor. 

Princeton Housing Services involved in campus cover-ups, investigation ongoing

first-construction Candace Do DP.jpg

Princeton Housing Services involved in campus cover-ups, investigation ongoing

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | 11/28/2023

We decided to launch a full scale investigation into the issue. Headed by Cheryl Locke ’24, director of the Secret Team of Uninvestigated Princetonian Issues of Danger (STUPID), the team all submitted dorm repair requests under pseudonyms in order to find out just how much Housing Services really knows.

We decided to launch a full scale investigation into the issue. Headed by Cheryl Locke ’24, director of the Secret Team of Uninvestigated Princetonian Issues of Danger (S.T.U.P.I.D), the team all submitted dorm repair requests under pseudonyms in order to find out just how much Housing Services really knows.

Whitman and Butler dining halls to recreate the first Thanksgiving dinner

The first Thanksgiving 1621

Whitman and Butler dining halls to recreate the first Thanksgiving dinner

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | 11/13/2023

“By recreating the First Thanksgiving Dinner — a totally welcoming event that championed peace and equality — we hope students will likewise build a sense of community here.”

“By recreating the First Thanksgiving Dinner — a totally welcoming event that championed peace and equality — we hope students will likewise build a sense of community here.”

Cases of vampirism on the rise following midterms

IMG_9585.jpeg

Cases of vampirism on the rise following midterms

Sawyer Dilks
| HUMOR | 10/25/2023

“It started maybe a week before midterms. Drake seemed really stressed, and was always in our dorm room studying. Meals, parties, and especially Sunday worship; he shut down any invitation to leave the room and began to develop really pale skin and dark eye bags. Even after midterms were over, he wouldn’t leave, and insisted on keeping the curtains drawn,” Bius explained.

“It started maybe a week before midterms. Drake seemed really stressed, and was always in our dorm room studying. Meals, parties, and especially Sunday worship; he shut down any invitation to leave the room and began to develop really pale skin and dark eye bags. Even after midterms were over, he wouldn’t leave, and insisted on keeping the curtains drawn,” Bius explained.

More articles »

Most Popular