Satire

“He Bellows” conference recognizes male achievements

“He Bellows” conference recognizes male achievements

Claire Thornton

Last Friday, the University held its first ever “He Bellows” conference celebrating male domination in fields like politics, technology, and the military. Notable alumni guests included U.S. Senator Ted Cruz (R) ’92, Google’s Eric Schmidt ’76, and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld ’54.

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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New bonfire policy requires all 37 varsity teams to beat Harvard and Yale

New bonfire policy requires all 37 varsity teams to beat Harvard and Yale

Jack Graham

With concerns rising over the inclusivity levels of the bonfire tradition, Princeton has updated the requirements to earning a bonfire. With all 37 teams now required to beat Harvard and Yale in the same season, future classes will be able to rejoice at the equality of the event, coupled with the relative ease in earning it.

SPORTS | 01/08/2019

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I support the Tigertones Men’s March

I support the Tigertones Men’s March

Anonymous

I wholeheartedly support the Tones’ effort to push back against our female supremacist culture’s dehumanization of the red-blooded American male. 

OPINION | 01/08/2019

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Mother of Freshman 15-gainer sues Campus Dining

Mother of Freshman 15-gainer sues Campus Dining

Marie-Rose Sheinerman

 Sue Talot, mother of a first-year student, filed a lawsuit against the University Campus Dining on Tuesday, claiming the service of “late meal” inflicted irreparable damage on her daughter, Ella Talot ’22. 

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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Student secures most travel funding ever for single project

Student secures most travel funding ever for single project

Claire Thornton

Yur Jellus, a sophomore from Lawrenceville, N.J., broke the record for the greatest amount of travel funding for a single independent research project at the University. This summer, the Wilson School concentrator will travel to the dark side of the moon, the bottom of the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench, and the geographic center of Antarctica as part of his academic exploration of “diplomacy through solitude.”

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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Bezos Residential College fails to help independent students

Bezos Residential College fails to help independent students

Claire Thornton

One year after the opening of Bezos Residential College, an investigation conducted by The Daily Princetonian found independent residents suffer from diabetes, paper cuts. First-year students in Bezos said their transition to campus was negatively impacted because they never left their dorm rooms.

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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Third week of University border security shutdown begins

Third week of University border security shutdown begins

Zachary Shevin

The University is heading into the third week of its shutdown, caused by a debate over campus border security. 

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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A more honorable honor code

A more honorable honor code

Braden Flax

Cheating and dissent should be greeted with mandatory transport to Yale University; only favorites will be embraced by the comparatively warm, protectively soothing arms of a swift death.

OPINION | 01/08/2019

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Student starts most exclusive eating club yet

Student starts most exclusive eating club yet

Benjamin Ball

Jim Olaf ’19 was never a fan of the Bicker process. He found the process overall morally disingenuous, vaguely illiberal, and almost entirely lacking in empathy. But Olaf had a vision: a process that, instead, would be morally reprehensible, completely illiberal, and entirely lacking empathy.

NEWS | 01/08/2019

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Rabid squirrels terrorize campus*

Rabid squirrels terrorize campus*

Daily Princetonian Staff

NEWS | 01/12/2017

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The next frontier in plant rights*

The next frontier in plant rights*

Guest Contributor

OPINION | 01/11/2017

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Football team to be treated for uncontrollable “dabbing” outbreak*

Football team to be treated for uncontrollable “dabbing” outbreak*

David Liu

SPORTS | 01/11/2017

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Eisgruber '83 to complete Prospect 11*

Eisgruber '83 to complete Prospect 11*

Daily Princetonian Staff

NEWS | 01/11/2017

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Student garners acclaim for innovative Instagram of Nassau Hall in the snow*

Student garners acclaim for innovative Instagram of Nassau Hall in the snow*

Daily Princetonian Staff

NEWS | 01/11/2017

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