The University is instituting a campaign to purge itself of all documents, statements and expressions that do not meet University standards of political correctness. P.C.
The undocumented migration of students from Forbes College to campus has become a highly prevalent topic in this year’s Undergraduate Student Government elections.Around 60 percent of the students housed in Forbes have abandoned their rooms there and brought sleeping bags to the sidewalk of University Place.
On paper, Jacob Ruijskman was a decorated University professor: a graduate of MIT’s economics program, who had co-authored papers on the Great Depression and the financial crisis and made contributions to applied game theory.
“Princeton Mom” Susan Patton ’77 will be partnering with former computer science majors from the University to create Yente, an app to partner college students together in matrimonial bliss.Patton explained that participants in the app will fill out profiles including intended post-graduate job, major, extracurricular activities including fraternities or eating clubs and physical characteristics.
The next Republican debate will feature a new format, that of a survival-of-the-fittest contest, CNBC moderator John Harwood said. Harwood explained that the candidates will be put on a deserted tropical island with provisions, but no weapons.
Fifteen hundred students were spotted walking around in squirrel onesies as part of a new protest to make squirrels the new mascot of the University.Callme Nutty ’18, the leader of the Squirrel Movement, said that the movement began in response to some papers found in the Mudd Manuscript Library.The papers claimed that squirrels were supposed to be the mascot for the University, according to proposals drafted by Bruce Wayne ’39.Wayne was unavailable for comment as he was allegedly at war with Catwoman.“Squirrels should be the mascots of this great institution because they’re so cute,” the papers claimed, according to Nutty, “and cats like lions or tigers are too violent.”According to Nutty, the paper went on to detail reasons for choosing squirrels as the mascot, which focused on their preparedness for the future in collecting their food before every winter and forgetting to take out buried nuts, which grew into trees.The original squirrel papers could not be traced as tigers allegedly ate them 50 years ago.Nutty said that the squirrel has always been the University’s official mascot in secret.
Secret injection of trackers along with the meningitis vaccine has been identified as the cause for the painful post-meningitis-vaccine “meng arm” in freshmen, according to an investigation conducted by the Undergraduate Student Government. The first tracker was discovered in Iliketobelieve Imspecial ’19 when he underwent a full body scan for undisclosed medical reasons. “I was looking at my scan reports when suddenly I saw this little device with the Princeton logo embedded in my arm,” Imspecial said. Imspecial added that the device was identified as a tracker by zooming in on and studying the scans, since the device could not be removed. “This is Princeton we’re talking about,” Imspecial said.
The Daily Princetonian will be disbanding at the end of January following University spokesperson Martin Mbugua’s departure from the University, outgoing Editor-in-Chief Anna Mazarakis said.“It’s simple, really,” Mazarakis said, wiping her eyes with an issue of the ‘Prince.’ “Without Martin to decline to comment on our articles, we cannot function as a news organization.”Mbugua declined to comment for this article.Associate News Editor Do-Hyeong Myeong ’17 said that she admired Mbugua’s professionalism and dedication, and that her time at the ‘Prince’ would not have been the same without him.“He declined to comment for me once and it was the most beautifully written thing I’d ever seen,” Myeong said.
The Princeton Police Department is training an elite squad of undercover policemen, known as “The Temperance 10,” to apprehend underage drinkers on campus and outside liquor stores in town. “I was put on this earth with one God-given mission in life,” said police chief Carry Nation II, who trained the recruits and was responsible for selecting them.
The Undergraduate Student Government has instituted a new dress code stipulating new heights of preppification for University students.USG president Jay Crew ’17 noted that while the dress code is not mandatory, students who are observed not following it will be added to a “Burn Book” which will be put on display in Frist Campus Center.“I think Coco Chanel or someone once said that all the world’s a stage,” Crew said, “and to that can be added that all of Princeton is a costume party.”Under the new guidelines, all students must wear pastel colors on Wednesdays, and students may not wear glasses that do not have thick frames.
Students at the University have convened in an “Occupy Princeton” protest against what they say is the undue expensiveness of the Orange Bubble.The students have pledged to boycott all dining hall food and all food sold in University-run establishments such as the University Store, Studio ’34 and the C-Store, and to boycott books sold by Labyrinth Books.
The McGraw Center for Teaching and Learning will now offer Group Study Hall tutoring sessions during reading period and finals week, according to Geneva Stein GS ’14, assistant director of the McGraw Center.The first tutoring session during reading period will be offered on Wednesday at 7:30 p.m.
The Institute for Advanced Studies is moving forward with its plans to build housing on historic Maxwell's Field after rejecting recent attempts of The Civil War Trust to halt construction by purchasing the property, according to Kip Cherry, vice president of the Princeton Battlefield Society.The Civil War Trust is a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit organization devoted to the preservation of America’s battlegrounds.Alexandra Altman, communications associate for IAS, noted that IAS currently has all necessary approvals and permissions for the project and is moving forward with its Faculty Housing project on the Institute’s campus on Maxwell's Field.Jim Campi, policy and communications director for the Civil War Trust, explained that the Trust first requested to meet with IAS to discuss acquisitions in June 2015.According to Campi, IAS rejected this request as well as the Trust's subsequent attempts to arrange a meeting through third parties.“In November, to further demonstrate our seriousness about acquiring the property, we offered to buy the 22-acre Maxwell’s Field tract for $3.3 million, based on the appraised value of property,” he explained, noting that IAS rejected this offer.Campi said that last December, IAS also rejected the Trust's second offer of $4.5 million, a price nearly 40% higher than the land's appraised value.He added that the Trust supports a stay on construction in order to give the state of New Jersey and IAS more time to explore alternatives.The Trust's offers are the most recent additions to an ongoing effort to stop this construction project.Altman explained that the housing project meets a critical need for the IAS.
While the recently passedincreases to the federal budget for Pell Grant will not significantly affect current University aid programs, theywould allow forgreater academic spending nationwide, according to Director of Governmental Affairs Joyce Rechtschaffen '75. Rechtschaffen is a former managing editor of the 'Daily Princetonian.' On Dec.
Thomas Gilbert Jr. ’09, who allegedly shot and killed his father Thomas Gilbert Sr.
Eric Lander ’78, valedictorian of his class and one of the leading contributors to the Human Genome and Innocence Projects, is the founding director of the Broad Institute, a genomics research institution of MIT and Harvard.Currently a biology professor at MIT, Lander was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People of Our Time in 2004.
Eleven University affiliates were named by the National Association of Scholars in two categories of the top ten influencers in higher education in 2015. The list appeared in an article titled "Roses and Thorns: NAS’s Top 10 List for 2015." Acknowledgement went to University of California, Los Angeles political science graduate student Michael LaCour, who was offered a position as assistant professor in the Wilson School, and members of the Princeton Open Campus Coalition, including Josh Freeman '18, Allie Burton '17, Evan Draim '16, Sofia Gallo '17, Solveig Gold '17, Andy Loo '16, Sebastian Marotta '16, Devon Naftzger '16, Beni Snow '19 and Josh Zuckerman '16. Snow is a columnist, Naftzger is a contributing columnist and Draim is a former staff writer for The Daily Princetonian. The NAS is a non-profit organization that promotes academic freedom, institutional integrity and principled citizenship in American higher education. NAS Executive Director Ashley Thorne, who wrote the top 10 list, said that she collaborated with other members of the NAS staff to compile the complete list, which comments on diverse issues in higher education, including environmentalism, gender and sexual assault, science and history. The Princeton Open Campus Coalition delivered a letter to University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 on Nov.
Tim Vasen, Director and Lecturer in Theater at the University, died in an accident at homeon Mondayin Brooklyn, N.Y.
Program in Theater Director and Lecturer Tim Vasen died in an accident at homeon Monday, according to an email from Lewis Center for the Arts Administrative Director Marion Young. Vasen, who was in his early fifties, became director of the program in 2012, and had taught courses and directed plays as part of the faculty since 1993. At the University, Vasen directed the world premieres of unproduced Soviet-era pieces by Alexander Pushkin. Alongside Lewis Center Chair Michael Cadden and the Seeger Center for Hellenic Studies, he facilitated interactions between University students and Greek theater artists by developing the recurring course "Re: Staging The Greeks," which launched in 2008.He was scheduled to teach two sections of the class in spring 2016. Vasen also served as an adviser to students pursuing a master of fine arts in directing at the Yale School of Drama.
Professor of ecology and evolutionary biology Simon Levinwill receive a National Medal of Science at a White House ceremony in January. The National Medal of Science is the highest presidential honor bestowed upon individuals in science and engineering who have contributed to knowledge in the fields of physics, chemistry, mathematics, biology, behavioral and social sciences, and engineering. Chair of the President’s Committee on the National Medal of Science Judith Kimble could not be reached for comment. Professor of ecology and evolutionary biologyDaniel Rubenstein said that Levin’s work involves trying to understand patterns in nature and how they come to be.
