“I find it hard to make decisions too,” Arthur Patterson ’27 said. “What if I say I want to study at Firestone, but all my friends secretly wanted to study in Frist and didn’t tell me as a test. Now they all hate me. This has happened before. With three different friend groups.”
Ah, the age-old questions: is he gay if he cares about his appearance? Is he obsessed with Zendaya because she’s hot? And the biggest one: does he respect me too much to be straight? But no need to worry: no matter how big it gets, the Newcummer will take this investigation to completion.
This Valentine’s Day, we at The DailyPrintsAnything feel obligated to provide lonely Princetonians some help to find that special someone. Although we can’t assure everyone has a date, here are our top tips for those tigers who are single and ready to mingle.
This Valentine’s Day, we at The DailyPrintsAnything feel obligated to provide lonely Princetonians some help to find that special someone. Although we can’t assure everyone has a date, here are our top tips for those tigers who are single and ready to mingle.
“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”
“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”
The Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.
The Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.
An email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”
An email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”
For many students, they believe the only way they can enjoy their time at the University is by spending every night partying on Prospect Avenue. However, there are many other options students overlook when trying to have some fun. We at The Daily PrintsAnything want you to consider these five unique ways to make your nights out extraordinary!
For many students, they believe the only way they can enjoy their time at the University is by spending every night partying on Prospect Avenue. However, there are many other options students overlook when trying to have some fun. We at The Daily PrintsAnything want you to consider these five unique ways to make your nights out extraordinary!
Recent campus discourse has surrounded this Tuesday’s huge erection. We at the Daily PrintsAnything know this erection is so big it’s hard to cover, but here’s a little taste of the discussion around campus as the erection reaches its climax.
Recent campus discourse has surrounded this Tuesday’s huge erection. We at the Daily PrintsAnything know this erection is so big it’s hard to cover, but here’s a little taste of the discussion around campus as the erection reaches its climax.
To make sure students are still protecting their genitals while risking everything else, University Health Services (UHS) will be holding a mandatory “Hexpo,” inspired by the Safer Sexpo all Princeton students have to experience as part of orientation.
To make sure students are still protecting their genitals while risking everything else, University Health Services (UHS) will be holding a mandatory “Hexpo,” inspired by the Safer Sexpo all Princeton students have to experience as part of orientation.
These so-called “vaccines” are undoubtedly chock-full of microchips — which, when activated by 5G signals, will brainwash you into pledging support to Xi Jinping — and virulent strains of the woke-mind virus. For those of you red-pilled enough to avoid this “medicine,” I, the Daily PrintsAnything Chief Medical Correspondent Michael Hwang, offer three alternatives to Flu Fest that will keep you healthy throughout the winter season.
These so-called “vaccines” are undoubtedly chock-full of microchips — which, when activated by 5G signals, will brainwash you into pledging support to Xi Jinping — and virulent strains of the woke-mind virus. For those of you red-pilled enough to avoid this “medicine,” I, the Daily PrintsAnything Chief Medical Correspondent Michael Hwang, offer three alternatives to Flu Fest that will keep you healthy throughout the winter season.
“The contract contains agreements on numerous topics including alcohol consumption, allotted friends per roommate, who has the coolest shower shoes, and, of course, interest in ‘BDSM.’”
“The contract contains agreements on numerous topics including alcohol consumption, allotted friends per roommate, who has the coolest shower shoes, and, of course, interest in ‘BDSM.’”
Tiger Private Dance is Princeton’s oldest group for aspiring exotic dance workers and the most selective club on campus, only accepting two students every year since 1769. This year, they recorded a soaring high number of 420 applicants, resulting in a 0.47 percent acceptance rate.
Tiger Private Dance is Princeton’s oldest group for aspiring exotic dance workers and the most selective club on campus, only accepting two students every year since 1769. This year, they recorded a soaring high number of 420 applicants, resulting in a 0.47 percent acceptance rate.
Over the 277 years of the university’s history, students have perpetuated a culture of inaction, nay, laziness. As one of the world’s leading institutions of higher education and research, it appalls us to bear witness to students who get accepted, enroll, and graduate, with little substance or depth in between.
Over the 277 years of the university’s history, students have perpetuated a culture of inaction, nay, laziness. As one of the world’s leading institutions of higher education and research, it appalls us to bear witness to students who get accepted, enroll, and graduate, with little substance or depth in between.
“I’m excited to announce that after five weeks of constipation, I made a dookie! Big thanks to my gastroenterologist for prescribing me suppositories, and the janitor for cleaning the blood off the toilet seat. I’m eagerly looking forward to the next one!”
“I’m excited to announce that after five weeks of constipation, I made a dookie! Big thanks to my gastroenterologist for prescribing me suppositories, and the janitor for cleaning the blood off the toilet seat. I’m eagerly looking forward to the next one!”
With the first week of class coming to a close, many students are looking forward to one of the most quintessential Princeton events of the semester — Lawnparties. However, walking around campus for the first time since the spring semester has left many students wondering, “Where are all the lawns we’re supposed to party on?”
With the first week of class coming to a close, many students are looking forward to one of the most quintessential Princeton events of the semester–Lawnparties. However, walking around campus for the first time since the spring semester has left many students wondering “where are all the lawns we’re supposed to party on?”
