Sunday, March 9

Previous Issues

Donate now

Submit a tip

Subscribe to the newsletter

Follow us on Instagram
Try our daily mini crossword
Play our latest news quiz
Download the app

Humor

TigerTease, the brand new application guaranteed to get you some action

TigerTease, the brand new application guaranteed to get you some action

Sawyer Dilks
| February 13
dom media for humor dating app piece

Introducing TigerTease, the only application that lets you know when the baddie in your zee group has broken up with their high school relationship. To learn more about the app’s features, we spoke with Deepa Insaichu, a senior in the Computer Science Department and member of the Residential College Advising program at Rockefeller College.

Introducing TigerTease, the only application that lets you know when the baddie in your zee group has broken up with their high school relationship. To learn more about the app’s features, we spoke with Deepa Insaichu, a senior in the Computer Science Department and member of the Residential College Advising program at Rockefeller College.

Princeton, we don’t need free speech — we need fee speech

A security camera is mounted on an ivy clad stone building. A bronze tiger statue is visible in the foreground.

Princeton, we don’t need free speech — we need fee speech

Tarun Iyengar

“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”

“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”

HUMOR | December 3

Princeton Debate Panel hosts argument preparation for Thanksgiving

A building will tall stone pillars. Orange trees drop leaves all around.

Princeton Debate Panel hosts argument preparation for Thanksgiving

Daily PrintsAnything Staff

The Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.

The Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.

HUMOR | November 18

Over half of the Politics department switched majors following the election

Tiger on a table with orange tablecloth, with a cloth titled “PRINCETON POLITICS” draped on the table.

Over half of the Politics department switched majors following the election

Spencer Bauman

An email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”

An email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”

HUMOR | November 8

End your craving for raving: The top five alternatives to a night out on Prospect Ave

Four grey and brown stone buildings located along an asphalt street with a white zebra crossing in the foreground. In the midground, bare brown trees are visible.

End your craving for raving: The top five alternatives to a night out on Prospect Ave

Tarun Iyengar

For many students, they believe the only way they can enjoy their time at the University is by spending every night partying on Prospect Avenue. However, there are many other options students overlook when trying to have some fun. We at The Daily PrintsAnything want you to consider these five unique ways to make your nights out extraordinary!

For many students, they believe the only way they can enjoy their time at the University is by spending every night partying on Prospect Avenue. However, there are many other options students overlook when trying to have some fun. We at The Daily PrintsAnything want you to consider these five unique ways to make your nights out extraordinary!

HUMOR | November 5

We heard there’s a huge erection this week

A photo of columned building during dusk, with an orange glow behind the door's windows.

We heard there’s a huge erection this week

Daily PrintsAnything Staff

Recent campus discourse has surrounded this Tuesday’s huge erection. We at the Daily PrintsAnything know this erection is so big it’s hard to cover, but here’s a little taste of the discussion around campus as the erection reaches its climax.

Recent campus discourse has surrounded this Tuesday’s huge erection. We at the Daily PrintsAnything know this erection is so big it’s hard to cover, but here’s a little taste of the discussion around campus as the erection reaches its climax.

HUMOR | November 3

Trick or treat or chlamydia: Hexpo arrives just in time for Halloween

A three-story brick building with the last of the sunset on the side.

Trick or treat or chlamydia: Hexpo arrives just in time for Halloween

Roberto Sampaio

To make sure students are still protecting their genitals while risking everything else, University Health Services (UHS) will be holding a mandatory “Hexpo,” inspired by the Safer Sexpo all Princeton students have to experience as part of orientation.

To make sure students are still protecting their genitals while risking everything else, University Health Services (UHS) will be holding a mandatory “Hexpo,” inspired by the Safer Sexpo all Princeton students have to experience as part of orientation.

HUMOR | October 22
ADVERTISEMENT

Three science-proven alternatives to Flu Fest

A man with classes holds a vaccine bottle up the camera

Three science-proven alternatives to Flu Fest

Michael Hwang

These so-called “vaccines” are undoubtedly chock-full of microchips — which, when activated by 5G signals, will brainwash you into pledging support to Xi Jinping — and virulent strains of the woke-mind virus. For those of you red-pilled enough to avoid this “medicine,” I, the Daily PrintsAnything Chief Medical Correspondent Michael Hwang, offer three alternatives to Flu Fest that will keep you healthy throughout the winter season.

These so-called “vaccines” are undoubtedly chock-full of microchips — which, when activated by 5G signals, will brainwash you into pledging support to Xi Jinping — and virulent strains of the woke-mind virus. For those of you red-pilled enough to avoid this “medicine,” I, the Daily PrintsAnything Chief Medical Correspondent Michael Hwang, offer three alternatives to Flu Fest that will keep you healthy throughout the winter season.

HUMOR | October 1

New first-year roommate contracts boast ‘BDSM’ Section

gray stone building with triangular roofs behind a courtyard with green grass under an overcast sky

New first-year roommate contracts boast ‘BDSM’ Section

Francesca Volkema

“The contract contains agreements on numerous topics including alcohol consumption, allotted friends per roommate, who has the coolest shower shoes, and, of course, interest in ‘BDSM.’”

“The contract contains agreements on numerous topics including alcohol consumption, allotted friends per roommate, who has the coolest shower shoes, and, of course, interest in ‘BDSM.’”

HUMOR | October 1

Intoxicated first-year accepted to most selective club on campus

Front view of charter club, a three-story mansion with a grey stone exterior.

Intoxicated first-year accepted to most selective club on campus

Vivian Huang

Tiger Private Dance is Princeton’s oldest group for aspiring exotic dance workers and the most selective club on campus, only accepting two students every year since 1769. This year, they recorded a soaring high number of 420 applicants, resulting in a 0.47 percent acceptance rate.

Tiger Private Dance is Princeton’s oldest group for aspiring exotic dance workers and the most selective club on campus, only accepting two students every year since 1769. This year, they recorded a soaring high number of 420 applicants, resulting in a 0.47 percent acceptance rate.

HUMOR | October 1

Princeton, it’s time to act. We’re begging you.

An upside down, ivy-covered building.

Princeton, it’s time to act. We’re begging you.

Daily Princetonian Staff

Over the 277 years of the university’s history, students have perpetuated a culture of inaction, nay, laziness. As one of the world’s leading institutions of higher education and research, it appalls us to bear witness to students who get accepted, enroll, and graduate, with little substance or depth in between.

Over the 277 years of the university’s history, students have perpetuated a culture of inaction, nay, laziness. As one of the world’s leading institutions of higher education and research, it appalls us to bear witness to students who get accepted, enroll, and graduate, with little substance or depth in between.

HUMOR | September 22

Constipated student shows off massive dookie on LinkedIn

A very pixelated photo of a toilet after it has been used.

Constipated student shows off massive dookie on LinkedIn

Michael Hwang

“I’m excited to announce that after five weeks of constipation, I made a dookie! Big thanks to my gastroenterologist for prescribing me suppositories, and the janitor for cleaning the blood off the toilet seat. I’m eagerly looking forward to the next one!”

“I’m excited to announce that after five weeks of constipation, I made a dookie! Big thanks to my gastroenterologist for prescribing me suppositories, and the janitor for cleaning the blood off the toilet seat. I’m eagerly looking forward to the next one!”

HUMOR | September 10

University rips up lawns just in time for Lawnparties

mud.jpeg

University rips up lawns just in time for Lawnparties

Spencer Bauman

With the first week of class coming to a close, many students are looking forward to one of the most quintessential Princeton events of the semester — Lawnparties. However, walking around campus for the first time since the spring semester has left many students wondering, “Where are all the lawns we’re supposed to party on?”

With the first week of class coming to a close, many students are looking forward to one of the most quintessential Princeton events of the semester–Lawnparties. However, walking around campus for the first time since the spring semester has left many students wondering “where are all the lawns we’re supposed to party on?”

HUMOR | September 5

‘Magnitude 3.5 earthquake aftershock’ actually just caused by first-year merch drop

Three stick figures drawn in black with bright red eyes next to a tan sweatshirt above the words “Frosh when free merch.”

‘Magnitude 3.5 earthquake aftershock’ actually just caused by first-year merch drop

Sawyer Dilks

Upon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor. 

Upon further investigation, the University discovered that the cause was not seismic activity, but rather the Class of 2027 crewneck distribution that was taking place at the same time. In attendance were over 900 frosh, all crowded into the hallways of Frist Campus Center’s second floor. 

HUMOR | April 16

Most Popular