Professor suggests his own book as Class of 2030 Pre-read

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.

After the recent announcement of the Class of 2029 Pre-read selection, anthropology professor Colin Huver has expressed interest in getting his book, “The Crimson Throne of Glass Houses and Forbidden Fire” named as the Class of 2030 Pre-read. The book is the fourth in a series of 12 books by Professor Huver, dubbed the “Counter-Insurgency Series.”

“The series follows a young woman named Raven Vampirefang as she navigates a futuristic, dystopian alien world caught in the middle of intergalactic civil war, and the magical powers that make her the most unique and special person in the universe,” Huver explained to the Daily PrintsAnything. “Throughout this book, she is caught in a love pentagon and must make heart-breaking choices about love, duty, and honor, all while balancing her raging teenage hormones and angsty personality.”

“I was violently sick with food poisoning a while ago while binge-watching Game of Thrones,” Huver said while sharing his inspiration for the series. “I must’ve passed out at some point because I had a fever dream from the perspective of Raven as Brodie Thorson, one of the love interests, in which he was man-handling me against a door frame. I felt so dominated yet so powerful. I woke up and knew I had to share this with the world.”

On campus, Huver teaches a class on gender and sexuality dynamics in ancient Mongolian cultures and includes “The Crimson Throne of Glass Houses and Forbidden Fire” on the required reading list. The ‘Prints’ reached out to Huver’s students for their opinions on the novel.

“There’s exactly 35 spicy scenes. I should know because I reread each of them three times,” said Lou Stymann ’27. “My favorite scene was the one with the knife and the rope and stuff. Also, the hot wax.”

“I personally thought the story was too contrived,” noted Austin Tatious ’26. “The grotesque portrait of the socio-economic ramifications based on the dually juxtaposed thematic elements of the story leaves too much room for interpretive critique.”

When asked to clarify his point, Tatious showed ‘Prints’ reporters his final paper on the topic, for which he received a C- and a discount code provided by Huver to purchase the next book in the series at Barnes & Noble.

Huver has started a petition to have his book selected for the Pre-read, emphasizing the merits of the book, which he says include “commentary on contemporary power dynamics in hierarchical relationship structures, a quasi-normative approach to synthetically generated narrative style, introductory ideas on moral philosophical frameworks, and some freaky sex positions to try out.”

Nicolas Rohou is a contributing Humor writer who also professionally ghostwrites on the side. He has written for many talented individuals, including esteemed author Colin Huver. He can be reached at nr9348[at]princeton.edu.