HUM sequence students develop an Oedipus complex

The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.

Several students on campus completing the Humanities (HUM) sequence have recently reported developing psychological symptoms in line with a new phenomenon experts are calling “The Oedipus Complex.”

The complex was originally discovered by an on-campus team headed by Professor Sigmund Fraud, recently dubbed “most in need of getting laid” by a campus-wide student survey. The complex is characterized by an unusual attraction to the parent of the opposite sex and a very normal hatred of the parent of the same sex.

“We believe the complex formed after students read through the play ‘Oedipus Rex,’” said Fraud. “Fortunately, since most of the students half-a** the readings anyway, few were affected.”

HUM sequence student Hugh Jenerd ’27 said, “I can barely keep up — one minute we’re reading a Greek philosopher, and the next we’re reading a Greek philosopher. Quite frankly, I wasn’t expecting so much reading out of the HUM Sequence.”

Those who actually did their homework have reported several notable symptoms. “I was looking through my parents’ wedding photos the other day, and I was filled with an inexplicable rage,” noted Ty Nedeck ’28. Other students have cited the following afflictions: spontaneous development of childhood trauma, a general attraction towards older people, and a bumpy rash around the genitals.

Piper Parante ’28 noted the development of “just a really strong urge to have sex with my dad,” despite not being asked for comment. She also mentioned an insatiable desire to refer to her father as “Daddy.”

In response, the University’s Counseling and Psychology Services (CPS) has created a rehabilitation program for affected students. The program, quoted as being “quite effective” by several participants, consists of four weeks of electroshock therapy, two weeks of exploration of the student’s dreams, 12 weeks of an intensive double-credit reading course, and a final test where the student is placed in a room with their parents, a knife, and a contraceptive.

CPS has been working overtime to eradicate this dangerous epidemic. “We’ve essentially created a new form of therapy,” stated program coordinator Cagney Shun ’98. “We’re thinking of calling it ‘Psychotic Analysis.’”

This incident has made many question the value of the HUM sequence as a whole. When pressed for comment, several faculty in the Sequence admitted the books being read might be getting “a bit old.”

“So that’s why my son wanted more quality time after reading the play,” said HUM Professor Ina Zeste. “I mean, attention is attention!”

Nic Rohou is a contributing Humor writer whose roommate seems to be calling his mom an awful lot recently. He can be reached at nr9348@princeton.edu.