Princeton, it’s time to act. We’re begging you.

We are tired.

Over the 277 years of the university’s history, students have perpetuated a culture of inaction, nay, laziness. As one of the world’s leading institutions of higher education and research, it appalls us to bear witness to students who get accepted, enroll, and graduate, with little substance or depth in between.

We as the Daily PrintsAnything staffers cannot sit idly by any longer. We are imploring you, begging you, beseeching you.

John Smith ’26, president and founder of Princeton Students with Conviction, stated, “Students are refusing to engage or even recognize this problem. We are giving name to this issue, and that name isn’t ever going away.”

We hear you, John Smith. The University has silenced you for too long. The time has come for us to rise up, speak out, and take a stance. A specific stance.

We encourage you to tune out the world, especially those who disagree with and try to keep you down. Keep your eyes and ears open, engage with those who disagree with and try to keep you down. Only then can change be made.

Empty promises. Hollow statements. We support you and your clearly defined viewpoints. We will stand behind you shouting those words with you. We will stand in front of you and lead all of us to a future that is more.

Jane Doe ’26, a speaking major with minors in Having Her Voice Heard and Applied Vocal Projection, echoed these sentiments.

“Stand up,” she began. “Sit down. Take up space. Go to work. One hop this time. Two hops this time. Criss. Cross. Everybody, clap your hands.”

So please, we are on our knees begging you, come audition to act for Theater Intime’s spring production of Mean Girls.

The Daily Princetonian Humor Section strongly endorses this message. They cannot be reached.

A collaboration by Head Humor Editors Spencer Bauman and Sophia Varughese, and Humor contributors Eric Mohorea, Tarun Iyengar, Vivian Huang, Francesca Volkema, Roberto Sampaio.