The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
This Thursday, March 28, marks this year’s “Ivy day,” when a select group of applicants across the country will receive acceptances to the eight Ivy League colleges, which includes Princeton. These future members of the Class of 2028 will join a long line of Princetonians who came before them.
However, students were able to access an API containing the University’s admissions data two days before it was meant to be released. This follows a similar “Fizz” leak, through which Fall 2024 course offerings were prematurely accessed and released to the student body.
Attached below is the list of students accepted to Princeton’s Class of 2028.
PRINCETON 2028 ADMISSIONS DATA
Spencer Bauman ’25 is a head Humor editor studying Chemical and Biological Engineering.
Sophia Varughese ’26 is a head Humor editor studying Astrophysics.
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