The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
Students and faculty in the Department of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering (MAE) were left in shock after a pioneering student boldly accepted a job offer at a non-consulting, non-defense company. Ray Theon ’24 is the first MAE student in 40 years to pursue a career that isn’t involved in the trade of killing people or lining someone else’s pockets.
“This is virtually unheard of,” said Professor Martin Lockhead, chair of the MAE department. “Most MAE graduates become servants of the lucrative military-industrial complex or sell out to consulting and go to hell. Ray is a truly brave soul to sacrifice his income to uphold his morals.”
The Daily PrintsAnything interviewed Theon after he spurned yet another Bain & Company recruiter. “Not that there’s anything wrong with consulting or defense, but I have always wanted to make the world a better place,” said Theon, as he glared at a student wearing a McKinsey sweater. “It’s really important to me that I work for a company with rigid morals and high standards of quality.”
Theon is excited to begin working at Boeing this summer.
Michael Hwang is a junior in MAE.
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For many students, they believe the only way they can enjoy their time at the University is by spending every night partying on Prospect Avenue. However, there are many other options students overlook when trying to have some fun. We at The Daily PrintsAnything want you to consider these five unique ways to make your nights out extraordinary!
