The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
Following Ani Ramen and Mochinut’s recent closures due to health code violations, many students and Princeton residents are left wondering what led the Princeton Health Department to deem the restaurants “Conditionally Satisfactory.”
We at the Daily PrintsAnything examined pages of health reports, health codes, hours of kitchen staff’s Instagram stories, and gallons of used mop water in order to determine the main cause of the restaurants’ closures.
According to inspection reports, “Everything seemed normal, except the head cook kept jerking around back and forth in the kitchen. It didn’t seem like he knew where he was going or what he was doing.” The report continues, "The only thing that raised any red flags was that all kitchen staff were speaking in thick French accents, even though it's an East Asian restaurant in New Jersey."
The report further reads, “Finally, as we were about to leave, [the cook] stood in front of a wall-mounted lamp, and we saw the silhouette of a rat underneath his chef’s hat.”
The rat, who was fired from Tiger Noodles over ten years ago due to similar violations when a buildup of "white powder" was found in the dry storage room, is a seasoned chef in the town of Princeton. Students have reported seeing the rat running between Nassau Street and Holder Hall, where they assumed the rat lives.
Neither the cook nor the rat responded to a request for comment.
The ‘Prints’ was able to speak with one anonymous Ani Ramen employee, who said they were “excited to see what the rat achieves in life,” noting his “enormous potential” and “discerning palate.”
Spencer Bauman is the head Humor editor and thinks that this would make a really funny movie. He can be reached at sbauman@princeton.edu.
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