The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
What your residential college says about you:
Butler: You are a current student at Princeton University.
Rockefeller: You are a current student at Princeton University.
Hufflepuff: You are loyal to a fault, and will stick by your friends no matter what!
Mathey: You are a current student at Princeton University.
Whitman: You are a current student at Princeton University.
Yeh: You are a current student at Princeton University.
New College West: You are a current student at Princeton University.
First: You probably breathed in asbestos.
Wilson: You attended Princeton at some point between 1966 and 2020.
Bezos College: You will be admitted to Princeton in the year 2025.
Forbes: You are a current student across the street from Princeton University.
The School of Public and International Affairs: Maintenance is asking you to please stop sleeping in Robertson 016.
Aidan Davis is a contributing Humor writer who is currently breathing in asbestos, but not because he is in First College.
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Princeton, we don’t need free speech — we need fee speech
Tarun Iyengar“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”
“For far too long, we have taken a woke, beta-male, socialist approach to the First Amendment. In other words, students have not needed to pay for their words and actions. The University serves up student rights on a fine silver platter just like their mommies and daddies did.”
Princeton Debate Panel hosts argument preparation for Thanksgiving
Daily PrintsAnything StaffThe Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.
The Princeton Debate Panel (PDP) hosted a “Prepsgiving” workshop, where students were taught how to most effectively debate their family members. This workshop covered a wide range of topics, from immigration rights to Trump’s cabinet picks, and introduced students to winning tactics.
Over half of the Politics department switched majors following the election
Spencer BaumanAn email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”
An email was sent to all undergraduate students at 12:24 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 6, saying that TigerHub was down for repairs following the “unprecedented number of students attempting to switch departments.”
