The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
TigerApps — the team behind frequently used student sites such as TigerPath, TigerSnatch, TigerDraw, TigerFit, TigerRetail, TigerThrift, TigerResearch, and TigerTools — announced the development of a new app: TigerTiger.
TigerTiger is meant “to support students in all of their tiger-related needs, providing pictures of tigers, fun facts about tigers, and updates on the standings of the Clemson Tigers,” said senior developer Tiger Woods ’23.
“TigerTiger will offer a marketplace for the trading of Frosted Flakes and animal crackers and a TigerTiger@Nite page where students can talk about the sexy tiger from Zootopia,” she continued.
Students have responded positively to the announcement.
“I’m really excited to have it all in one place,” said Daniel Tiger ’25, “since it usually becomes a hassle having to watch the San Diego Zoo TigerCam on one tab, while I watch Tiger King on another.”
Other student responses were more ambiguous.
“Tiger tiger tiger tiger!” said TigerConfessions# moderator Tyga San.
TigerConfessions# is not affiliated with TigerApps.
“Unless they want to be,” said Woods.
Liana Slomka is a head Humor editor and a senior with no desire to go into app manufacturing, but lots of desire to pet a tiger.
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