1. Tower Club maintains façade of Bicker club, accepts 80 percent of fall bickerees
2. Yale leads Ivy League endowment growth, proves humanities kids pick better stocks than Economics majors
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3. U.S. government threatens to cut U. funding; U. reforms sexual assault policy
4. Breaking: The Daily Princetonian’s website crashes
5. Online access to alumni theses briefly suspended; American academia fails to notice
6. Bedbugs found in Forbes; sources report they came for the Arts, stayed for the Transit
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