1) TRENDING NOW: Meningitis
2) NO LONGER TRENDING: Gastro
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3) Add/Drop Period Closes, Lecture Becomes Very Lonely Place
4) Dinky Awning Collapses— University replies: “You’re next, WaWa.”
5) Return of Pumpkin Spice Latte; lactose-intolerants move underground
6) President Eisgruber competes with iOS 7 update for “Installation of the Week”
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