Now, you may be asking yourself: Why is an improv group writing to me to convince me to come to Princeton? Why should I listen to silly people who insist that their group name is spelled wrong if it doesn’t have the exclamation point on the end? They probably just want one more person in the audience screaming "dildo factory" as a suggestion at their shows, right?
Well, sure, that would be great. (Coming to see our shows, that is, not giving us sex toy-themed suggestions. We get enough of those already.) But more than that, we understand your situation right now. Being a prospective student at a bunch of fancy-pants schools is a lot like being in an improv scene: You’re making fast, big decisions, and it seems like making the wrong one will surely bring your reality crashing down around you to the boos and hisses of your audience. But one of the first, beautiful lessons that improv teaches you is that there are no bad decisions, and that's especially true for you lucky prefrosh.
BUT, just like choosing to be a normal baker will lead to a better improv scene than choosing to be a racist deaf-mute android baker with a peg leg, some life decisions are definitely better than others. We think you should make the best decision available and accept Princeton's offer of admission, and here are a couple of reasons why.
(1) The brochures will tell you that professors here are accessible. What they can’t quite tell you is that you could have a pun-off with Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Paul Muldoon. You can take an intimate writing seminar with Jeff Eugenides or Joyce Carol Oates (and hear JCO tell a classmate that his story “reads like it was translated from a foreign language.”) Your adviser can invite you — well, maybe give into your pleading — to the taping of the episode of "The Colbert Report" where he’s the guest. We barely have any grad students, so your professors have to get to know you! But also they truly want to. If they don’t, they’re doing a remarkable job of pretending that they do.
(2) You may have heard about Princeton’s bottomless resources. “They throw money at you!” people say, which is mostly metaphorical but we did once see President Tilghman throwing loose change at a student but we think that was something else. Princeton wants to support your passions, and the endowment — the largest one per student, we might add — is totally down to help. Princeton will send you on your fall break to study global warming in Bermuda or pay for you to spend the summer writing a book on your childhood hero or, on a really lonely night on that same summer journey, buy you a $17 pay-per-view showing of "What to Expect When You’re Expecting" in a Toronto hotel and never even ask for a receipt. Come to think of it, Princeton is more of our sugar daddy than our school, but that is totally fine by us.
(3) You may not realize it now, but the most important thing about where you go to school is who goes there with you. The coolest part of your freshman year may not be the classes or the parties, but the fact that you live in a quad with one Protestant, one Muslim, one Jew and one Catholic, and the four of you become best friends and choose to live together again the next year (and you find out that the solution to a lot of global conflict may just be Guitar Hero). We are consistently amazed by the things our friends accomplish and create and do.
(4) If you want to live on a campus that looks like Hogwarts — and, let’s be real, that’s where you actually were hoping to go — this is the place. (They even turn Rocky/Mathey dining hall into Hogwarts’ Great Hall every year.) It can be very hard to have a bad day if you look at what’s around you. (You could live in this courtyard your freshman year.) And just think of the Instagram potential!
(5) The learning extends far beyond the classroom. There are tons of fascinating public lectures on campus — just recently we’ve (coincidentally) seen all the greatest Steves: Steve Martin, Steve Carell and Stephen Sondheim. No word on Steve Harvey yet. Princeton is also situated close to both NYC and Philadelphia, so there are tons of trips to shows and events and museums and everything you can imagine in both. We can’t say we’ve ever been to Philly though. But it’s comforting that we could go.
With all that cool stuff, you might think Princeton's a Never Never Land for people aged 18-22, a veritable Wonka factory for undergrads. For the most part, it is. Princeton isn't perfect — as any number of 'Prince' columns will attest — but when Princetonians find flaws in their school, their first instinct is to fix them. Just like in an improv scene, we learn to love the choices of our scene partner, which in this case is a lovable 267-year old institution. Princeton will forgive us the time we had too much Popov and threw up in front of the econ building after slurring "Finance? More like fine ass," and we'll forgive Princeton the lack of two-ply toilet paper.
We could go on about how much we love Princeton, but don't take it from us. Come to Princeton Preview and see it for yourself. And once you do, we hope you'll follow the first rule of improv and respond to Princeton's "yes" with a resounding "yes and."
Now we've got to get back to work in this dildo factory.
Love,
Anna Aronson ’16, Daniel Feinberg ’13, Lauren Frost ’16, Nick Luzarraga ’15, Adam Mastroianni ’14, Jake Robertson ’15, Amy Solomon ’14, Carolyn Vasko ’13
Members of Quipfire!
Read More
Princeton must protect students from Trump’s proposed immigration policies
Jorge ReyesWith the presidential inauguration less than two weeks away, time is running out. Princeton, act now and show undocumented and international students the “energetic and vigorous support” you pledge before it’s too late.
With the presidential inauguration less than two weeks away, time is running out. Princeton, act now and show undocumented and international students the “energetic and vigorous support” you pledge before it’s too late.
The U. doesn’t want you to know about the camera project. Pay attention.
Frances BroganWhen the administration isn’t forthcoming with us about a policy that affects the entire student body, we should be suspicious. Princeton’s lack of communication about the camera initiative suggests a desire to avoid accountability.
When the administration isn’t forthcoming with us about a policy that affects the entire student body, we should be suspicious. Princeton’s lack of communication about the camera initiative suggests a desire to avoid accountability.
Princeton should incorporate well-being days into the academic calendar
Isaac BarsoumPrinceton must commit to ending its mental health crisis by making long-term care accessible, appointing a zero-suicide czar –– and yes, incorporating well-being days into the academic calendar –– to make the Princeton experience happier, healthier, and safer.
