As you might imagine, there are (as at any school) a lot of great people here. There are people here who want to change the world, discover new things and — at the same time — care deeply for you. But there are also a lot of self-absorbed egomaniacs who focus exclusively on their own pleasure, status and achievements. While plenty of people who carry the Princeton name deserve your deepest respect, plenty do not.
With that said, it’s going to be very hard to not allow Princeton (or Yale or MIT … ) to define you. Many people will be impressed that you got into Princeton, and you are going to want to be impressed with yourself too. It will be so easy to put Princeton on a little throne at the center of your life. But please, fight that with everything you’ve got.
Pride yourself on your character, not your affiliation with a name-brand school. Look at your heart. What are the real reasons you want to go to Princeton — what are the real reasons you want to go to college anywhere? Why did you even apply? Probably because you were expected to, or maybe because you wanted to be successful, right? That’s a big part of why I applied, and that’s completely understandable.
But guess what? To hell with success. What’s so great about success? Success all too often consists of trying to manufacture meaning for yourself by earning other people’s approval. That kind of success is both unsatisfying and unhealthy. If, however, you want to be successful by working hard because that leads to significant and rewarding ends, then great. Pursue that kind of success.
Whatever your reason for wanting to attend Princeton (slash _____ University), I want to suggest that your motivation for being Princeton-bound should be, largely, that you want to serve people. Whether it’s the five people you’ll work with or the 50 million people you’ll lead as a nation-state president someday, a major goal of your life should be to build others up. Whatever your belief system, worldview or religion, serving the needs of other people must merit a spot near the top of your priority list; I believe we were made to be relational creatures who care for one another, and that we were designed — paradoxically — to be most satisfied personally when we’re giving most fully of ourselves to others.
Therefore, your Princeton experience should be contextualized within that broader view of life. To that end, I want to encourage you to NOT let the recent headiness of “getting in” take over your life. Receiving that “Congratulations!” letter is exciting, for sure, and it’s a nice affirmation of your special abilities and talents. But ultimately the gifts you have are just that — gifts — and it’s important to remember that there were a lot of things outside of your control (no matter how hard you worked) that got you where you are now.
Given that, resist the urge to have your sense of worth come from your new status of “Princeton admit” or the new line-item on your resume that says “Princeton University, Class of 2017.” Your real worth will always come from the direction you point your heart, and the state of your heart has nothing to do with Princeton. Cultivate and treasure the kind of selfless character that doesn’t need to be talked about in an essay or discussed by an admission committee to shine brightly.
Whether it’s Princeton or some other awesome school you choose, the question will remain: How can you translate your talent into service and go beyond intelligence to embrace love? How can you turn this opportunity for you into an opportunity for others as well? If you seek the good of others through your life at Princeton (or wherever) and beyond, you’ll find so much more joy and purpose than if you just reflect on how “great” you are all the time.
Don’t get me wrong — Princeton is absolutely thrilling and satisfying and challenging and fun. It’s an amazingly unique place that will offer you access to abundant resources, diverse and incredibly interesting peers, unsurpassed undergraduate education and some of the best minds in the world. But, at the end of the day, I believe it’s a place for us to be filled up and matured so that we can develop a lifestyle of pouring out ourselves for the benefit of people — and a world — in need of our help.
Dave Kurz is a 2012 graduate from Maryland and current intern at Princeton Faith and Action. He can be reached at dave.kurz@gmail.com.
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