Why women hate women

Two weeks ago, I overheard a conversation between two girls sipping their matching double-shot macchiatos on Nassau Street: “No, but like, this girl was like a crazy feminazi bitch. Obviously no guys like her.”

A woman commenting on Tehila Wenger’s Feb. 12 column on the double standard between men and women with regard to promiscuity and derogatory slurs: “Grow a pair and stop complaining.”

So there’s that. After a decade of females doing great, big, landmark things like beating out James Cameron for the Best Director Oscar and winning presidential primaries, the whole realm of feminism is still seen as somewhat radical and crazy by not only men, but by women as well. More and more, I see girls dismissing feminism. Perhaps it’s an effort to be the cool, low-maintenance girl who doesn’t care too much about anything; perhaps they automatically equate the feminist movement with the liberal left; perhaps they think (incorrectly) that all feminists are man-hating savages who burn razor blades. Whatever the reason, there seems to be a certain fear about identifying with the feminist movement.

The dictionary defines feminism as “the advocating and support of the rights and equality of women.” Yet the fact that Katy Perry — who, I’ll concede, is by no means an authority figure — sees a distinction between “feminism” and the support of “powerful women” reflects a larger cultural phenomenon: Women want to be perceived as strong, but only to an extent. Somewhere along the way, feminism has picked up a negative connotation.

While I refuse to take any woman who actively identifies as an “anti-feminist” seriously — how can you be opposed to something that wants to better your own life? — I do understand where the confusion comes from. Too often, women who are pro-life or believe in a more orthodox family setup feel that feminism doesn’t align properly with their viewpoints. This is a valid concern; many self-identifying feminists are pro-choice and do believe in equal familial responsibilities between spouses. However, the problem isn’t so much with feminism itself as it is with the false idea that all feminists have to have the same viewpoint on every matter. That’s just not true. If you can be a pro-choice Republican, then why can’t you be a pro-life feminist?

It’s really important to note that feminism is not the same as misandry. People who use the term “feminazi” in any context that suggests women are militant man-haters, reminiscent of Rush Limbaugh’s intentions when he popularized the phrase in the ’90s, have wildly misunderstood the goal of feminism. Wanting 50 percent of the population to be treated equally to the other 50 percent, and taking a stand when this doesn’t happen, isn’t any reason to be compared to Hitler. Being condescending toward people who voice valid concerns is immature.

Sexism is still very real, and it’s still institutionalized. Women still make 77 cents to a man’s dollar (a statistic, I’m sure, you’ve all heard enough times that it has made its own synaptic connection in your brain somewhere). But more important, though, is the fact that legislators have managed to thwart attempts to close this gap and then rationalized their actions. This resistant attitude toward progress negatively affects all women, not just women who self-identify as feminists.

How, then, can any woman claim she is actively opposed to the goals of the feminist movement? There is no one overarching, cemented perspective that every feminist must adopt. Feminism simply advances the idea that women should continue making progress after thousands of years of institutionalized oppression. It’s not over now that we can vote. It isn’t over because we aren’t considered property any more. Women who tear down feminism, or belittle attempts to bring to light disparities lest they appear “crazy” themselves, are more dangerous to the movement than a dozen Rush Limbaughs. By putting down something that’s trying to help you, you’re telling Limbaugh and others like him that it’s okay to do the same.