Women's Basketball: Cagers forced to play Ivy season one-handed*

After going 41-1 in conference play over the last three seasons, the women’s basketball team will have an extra challenge this year. When Princeton kicks off league play against Penn tomorrow, the Tigers will play with one arm tied behind their backs. Literally. According to the league office, the Ivy League has instituted this policy in order to “make the games halfway interesting.”

Surprisingly, head coach Courtney Banghart said she doesn’t mind the decision.

“We’re trying to be the best team we can be in March, come tournament time, and we need to compete every day to get there,” Banghart said. “When we play other teams in this league ... it’s like playing in the driveway against your six-year-old little cousin. You can’t really try too hard, because it just gets sad.”

As an added bonus, Banghart said, the new tactic will enable WNBA talent evaluators to see yet another side of star senior Niveen Rasheed’s versatile game.

“Niveen will show people that if her dominant arm gets eaten by a shark in a freak jet-skiing accident, she’ll still be able to help a team win. Scouts are looking for that,” Banghart said. “During practice, we’ll tie her shoes together and blindfold her, and she still finds a way to score 15 points.”

The experiment is being watched carefully by the field hockey team, which is reportedly considering playing its Ivy League season without sticks next fall.