The day after announcing that the Class of 2016 would include 136,431 students, Dean of Admission Janet Rapelye defended her high school math education and refuted claims that her office had made any mistake.
“You carry the one and multiply by three,” Rapelye explained, using her pointer finger to demonstrate the irrelevant calculation. “It has something to do with Fermat’s Last Theorem.”
“All these Princeton kids coming into my office, claiming that I don’t know how to calculate percentages or predict yields. I went to college too, you know,” she added.
When confronted with evidence showing that Rapelye was using a random number generator on a GeoCities website to compute her figure, the Dean of Admission proceeded to excavate her high school math transcript, noting that she earned a B- in ninth grade algebra.
“Not to mention Ms. Friedman was a huge bitch,” Rapelye said.
Friedman declined to comment for this article, only saying that Rapelye was lucky to earn the B-.
“There’s a reason she only went to Williams,” Friedman said.
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Princeton junior found dead after days of searches
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The body of missing student Lauren Blackburn ’26 was found at Lake Carnegie on the morning of April 25, according to an email from Regan Crotty, Dean of Undergraduate Students.
Three weeks after Trump cut Princeton’s funding, no demands have been publicly issued. Here’s what we know.
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Harvard and Columbia received lists of demands from the Trump administration days after their federal grants were paused. Princeton has still yet to receive any demands, yet the $210 million in federal funding paused on April 1 remains frozen.
Search for Lauren Blackburn ’26 still ongoing
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Lauren Blackburn ’26 has been missing since Saturday, April 19. The search for him, led by the Department of Public Safety (DPS), is still ongoing, with University community members advised to contact DPS if they have any knowledge of his whereabouts.