On Tiger Compliments

Who are we, and what are we doing here? These weighty questions have seen lively debate in these pages recently. Cameron Langford wrote about the search for her academic identity; Dave Kurz explained how religion forms a defining part of his identity; Nathan Mathabane and Kinnari Shah shared their differing approaches to forming a meaningful college experience. All of these columnists suggested philosophies — exploration, faith, simplicity, striving — on which to build a sense of self and a worldview. But identity doesn’t always have to be explained in one all-encompassing philosophy. Recently, this campus has had the privilege to experience people’s identities in snapshots, insights that are succinct yet distinct — the student who can “touch things and they turn into joy,” the student who is a “friend whisperer,” the student who is “a ray of sunshine.”

These three statements are from Tiger Compliments, a Facebook page that allows Princeton students to post anonymous compliments to each other. The idea of an anonymous compliment Facebook page started at Queen’s College in Ontario and at Columbia University; Princeton is now one of the many college campuses that have similar pages. Although the original directive of the project, as written on the Queen’s College Facebook page, was to “spread happiness,” the project has still been met with some criticism. On Nov. 28, Yishai Schwartz, a columnist for the Yale Daily News, wrote an article expressing his disapproval for Yale Compliments, Yale’s iteration of the phenomenon. Schwartz wrote that the anonymous compliments demonstrate Yale students’ “widespread hunger for recognition” and encourage a culture that “fetishizes praise.”

This is not a problem specific to Yale, or to college campuses in general. We live in a culture that applauds us for our achievements before our characters. Getting an A on a test or scoring a game-winning goal garners more public recognition than being a good listener or giving thoughtful advice. So at first, I had the same fears as Schwartz. I thought it was possible that this “hunger for recognition” could create a Tiger Compliments page full of praise cataloging students’ achievements, academic and otherwise — one more forum in which to reassure ourselves that we are meeting the standards for intelligence, talent and success.

But Tiger Compliments rejects this ideology. Society tells us that we should be good achievers; on Tiger Compliments, we praise each other for being good people. Instead of complimenting people about their about momentary successes, students compliment each other on the values at the core of their identities. The adjectives I’ve seen students use most frequently to describe each other are “caring,” “kind,” “selfless,” “friendly,” “inspiring,” “thoughtful,” “funny,” “hilarious,” “charming,” “supportive,” “artsy” and “cheerful.” The one word that keeps coming up is “genuine.” These are words I simply don’t hear much at Princeton — they’re just not in our lexicon for describing each other’s strengths.

In his column last Wednesday, Luke Massa said that the anonymity factor makes a compliment from Tiger Compliments more powerful than one from a friend. Anonymity allows acquaintances, classmates, even strangers to compliment you in a socially acceptable way, and a compliment from a stranger holds more objective weight. While I agree, I think the real power of Tiger Compliments exists not in the individual compliments, but in the broader message we are sending to each other as a university. As the page moderators post each new compliment calling a Princeton student selfless, caring or supportive, we get confirmation that these values — kindness, genuineness — are important to the Princeton community. We value these parts of our identity. Implicitly, we are telling each other: You are not your grades. You are your “super fun personality,” you are a “role model,” you are your “big heart.” “You deserve everything good.” You still matter.

Tiger Compliments gives us a forum to identify and prioritize what we value in each other, rather than what society values in us. It reminds us that what we value in each other should be the driving factor in our sense of self-worth. Given the overwhelming positive response to the Facebook page, it seems time for a paradigm shift. Hopefully, Tiger Compliments is just the beginning.

Sarah Schwartz is a sophomore from Silver Spring, Md. She can be reached at seschwar@princeton.edu.