Dodgeball: Powerhouses prep for campus-wide showdown

Players from student groups of all types will face off in the tournament Thursday night at Dillon Gymnasium, including sports teams, eating clubs, performance groups and activism groups, among others. The tournament is divided into four subgroups for small, medium, large and huge teams, and the four victors square off at the end of the night for the ultimate trophy.

Perennial powerhouses Basketball, Football, Cap & Gown and Tiger Inn will again be the teams to watch in the 2012 tournament. Cap & Gown and Tiger Inn will be slotted in the huge teams bracket, Football will begin in the large teams bracket, and Basketball will play in the medium teams bracket.

TI made an early exit from the tournament last year but was a finalist in 2010. Players at TI said they have been following a strict training regimen.

“We’ve been doing a lot of offseason lifting and tons of carbo-loading,” junior Ned Moffat said. “We’ve also been following the Roger Clemens workout plan.”

Players for TI were also quick to dispel rumors of performance-enhancing drug use in preparation for the tournament. “We have not knowingly taken any performance enhancers for dodgeball,” Moffat said. “Knowingly.”

Cap won the huge bracket last year but was eliminated by Football in the final match of the tournament. Members said they will try to execute a balanced strategy to return to the championship game.

“[Senior] Ivan Charbonneau and [junior president] Alec Egan will be major contributors up front, but I think the real strength for Cap will come from our large turnout,” junior Jeremy Blair said.

Junior Cap intramurals chair Nikhil Chervu commented on Cap’s techniques for getting so many members to attend the tournament.

“Torture is a strong word to throw around, but Cap members would be wise to attend the tournament if they ever wish to see their families alive again,” Chervu said. “Obviously I can’t release our general strategy, but I can say that we’ll be facing Ivy in the first round, so we’ve been watching a lot of film of their games. We’ll mostly be aiming for their scarves and Burberry jackets and trying to knock their fancy cups of coffee out of their hands during the game.”

“Other than Cap, I think that Sprint Football will be the team to beat this year,” Chervu said. “They’re extremely good-looking, they’re very agile, and they made a real run for it in the tournament last year.” Chervu is also a defensive back for the sprint football team.

Basketball was eliminated by Cap last year in the semifinals and by Football in the large bracket in 2010 after winning the 2009 tournament. The team declined to comment on its strategy but confirmed that it has been training.

“We’ve been practicing every week since the NCAA Tournament ended, since we’ve had a lot of free time,” junior Niveen Rasheed said.

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“We have some big threats in the larger and smaller positions,” senior Lauren Edwards said. “[Sophomore] Nicole Hung is small but not to be underestimated — she has matrix-style dodging moves, and her smile is very deceiving.”

Basketball was especially eager for a shot at redemption against the football team. “Football definitely has size, but that’s just a bigger target for us,” Rasheed said.

Football won the tournament last year and is a favorite again Thursday night. Members of the football team could not be reached for comment.

With money and pride at stake, tempers have flared up between opposing teams in recent years. For that reason, the rugby club will take on the tough task of officiating and regulating the tournament.

“It comes down to personal relationships and what you’re willing to sacrifice, because after each and every game, there will be people who will hate you,” sophomore Chris Hamm said. “If you have good friends on one of the teams in the game you’re refereeing, you need to be prepared to destroy those friendships. You’re literally ruining lives by not calling somebody out for cheating, and, in the end, maybe you are going to be severely offending that guy who might have been the best man at your wedding.”

Hamm emphasized the importance of the tournament rules and the harsh stance on cheating.

“First of all, cheaters will be kicked out of the game, and further cheating will result in disqualification,” Hamm said. “Because we’re the rugby team, though, we try not to disqualify people from the tournament — we generally prefer to make threats of bodily harm. What we usually do instead of disqualification is pick out a couple of the weaker dudes, bring them out behind Dillon and settle matters out there so that we don’t have to delay the tournament.”

Hamm noted that the referees have had to do this with the water polo team specifically on several occasions.

“So please, stick to the rules so that nobody gets hurt,” senior Ben Spacapan added.

Hamm also addressed some of the rumors of substance abuse in the tournament.

“Every year, performance-enhancing substances have been a problem, and every year people try to slip through the cracks,” Hamm said. “I can assure you that if people are caught or if some dude has a little bit too much testosterone, offenders will be forced to play in only Speedos.”

Hamm and Spacapan also dispelled rumors that previous tournaments were not officiated on the level. “That is false. There is no way that happened, but it depends on who is offering the bribe,” Hamm said. “If you’re going to approach a referee, certain bribes may be more persuasive.”

“I can’t speak for what happened last year,” Spacapan said. “Our standards are high, and we’re honest people, but we’ve also been known not to turn down a good deal.”

The tournament begins with a quintet of small-bracket matches at 5 p.m. with competition running throughout the evening until the championship game, which is slated for approximately 1:40 a.m.

“I hope everybody comes out this Thursday ready to play some good, clean dodgeball, or they’re going to suffer the consequences,” Hamm said. “Especially the water polo team.”

Make your predictions in our first-ever dodgeball bracket pool: Main bracket; Small Bracket. The Daily Princetonian will be live-blogging the event through the night from Dillon, providing bracket updates, commentary and results online.