The relief of acceptance

Today, a few thousand fortunate high school seniors will see the word “Congratulations” flash onto their computer screen. And that is all they will need to see to know that they have been accepted into Princeton University. And when they see that one word pop up, they will likely have a very strong reaction.

I wasn’t around to see anyone else’s reaction at seeing that one word coming from Princeton, but I know for me it was basically the most emotionally charged experience of my life. A large part of this I attribute to the fact that mine were not the only eyes that instantly scanned for that precious “Congratulations.” My mother, father and little brother were present as well, eagerly peering over my shoulder as I very gingerly clicked on the link that would take me to my admission decision. It had become something of a family affair, as maybe the whole unveiling of the college decisions thing should.

Reactions were as follows: My mom started yelling “Oh my God!” over and over, and I believe tears were involved. My dad ran around our basement performing a Tiger Woods-like arm-pumping celebration while repeatedly clapping and yelling “Yes! Yes!” as loudly as possible, crying as well.

And as for me? Well, I broke down crying too. Like you can judge me. I had just gotten accepted to Princeton, my number one choice for college and definitely a reach.

There were probably tinges of countless emotions in those admittedly abundant tears, but there is one that stands out much more clearly than all the rest.

Relief.

This may have been specific to my situation, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that relief was the strongest and most lingering emotion that I felt that day, and I think a lot of people can relate. What is strange, though, is that the instance of receiving a college acceptance letter is really unlike almost every other source of relief out there. People normally talk about feeling relieved when they talk about something terrible that could have happened but didn’t. “I felt so relieved when my dog ran away, and I somehow managed to find him.” But gaining acceptance into Princeton — or any top choice college — in itself is nothing like that. Your life just got a whole lot better; you didn’t avoid some cataclysmic catastrophe.

Relief can also manifest itself as the feeling you get when you have some sort of pain or pressure in your life that finally drifts away. “I feel so relieved now that I’m done with final exams.” But getting into Princeton in itself doesn’t lessen your load a bit. In fact, it adds an incredibly substantial amount of work to your to-do list if you ever plan on graduating.

No, simply the instance of being accepted doesn’t seem to warrant any relief at all, yet we feel it, and it’s definitely there. But why? Maybe it’s everything that goes along with getting in that provokes such an overwhelming feeling of relief. Relief that the whole thoroughly annoying application process was not for nothing. Relief that all the work you did in high school was (gasp) actually worth something. Relief that the uncertainty of the whole mess is no longer constantly hanging over you. Relief that you don’t have to break the bad news to your parents, family, friends and everyone else who knew that you applied, and relief that you won’t have to experience the feelings of embarrassment and shame that goes along with that. The list of reasons to feel relieved goes on and on.

What does this common practice of feeling relieved about getting into college say about us, though? Maybe that the fear of being denied may be more pressing than we’d like to admit. We feel relieved that we avoided the disaster that is denial and the abyss of uncertainty that is the wait list (though I’d imagine that the relief of getting in off of the wait list must be tremendous). And it also suggests that the time frame from submitting your application to receiving your decision is even more stressful than you might have realized at the time. Personally, I knew I was worried about it, but I didn’t realize exactly how much until I didn’t have to worry anymore. It seemed to be a sort of merciful “You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone” scenario.

But past insecurity and uncertainty aside, getting into Princeton and everything that goes along with it is one of the best feelings that I have yet to experience. So for those of you newly crowned Princetonians who decided to eagerly jump right online to the newspaper of the school to which you were just admitted, enjoy it. And “Congratulations!” Such a relief, isn’t it?

Richard Daker is a freshman from Evergreen Park, Ill. He can be reached at rdaker@princeton.edu.