End of NBA lockout hurts Amaker's recruiting

Before that time, Harvard’s top target was a 6-foot-8 inch forward from Ohio, a five-star recruit named JaBron Lames. No scouts have seen Lames play in person, but those who saw film were more than impressed.

“Lames would be unstoppable at the college level — he was blowing by people, swatting shots, dunking at will,” one scout said, also noting that the tape mysteriously stopped about three-quarters of the way through. “And he had a man’s body — I haven’t seen a prep kid look that old since Greg Oden.”

In an era where possible recruits are listed and analyzed as early as middle school, Lames broke onto the scene surprisingly late. No recruiting services had heard of him before the summer of 2011, and in fact, there are no records of him even existing before then. Harvard was the only school to recruit Lames, though industry sources speculated that Kentucky might jump in at the last minute, citing Lames’ desire to play for a team that was already the best in the nation.

Lames was unusually quiet throughout the recruiting process. Earlier in the fall, a spokesperson for Lames maintained that he was “excited to start college” and “wanted to take his talents to a place where he could continue playing competitive basketball,” but he was mysteriously silent on all other issues.

One Ivy League scout was surprised by the attention Lames received from Harvard, considering the academic standards of one of the nation’s most prestigious universities.

“I don’t want to sound elitist by throwing around terms like ‘dumb as shit,’ but that kid is not an Ivy League-caliber student, I’ll tell you that,” the scout said.

When one reporter brought that information to Harvard head coach Tommy Amaker earlier in the winter, Amaker replied, “Hahahahahahaha,” and continued laughing for about 10 minutes. “Don’t worry. I’ve got that covered,” Amaker added.

Early last month, however, Lames disappeared from the recruiting trail without a trace. Amaker never mentioned Lames after Dec. 8 and has answered any question involving Lames by saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Seven other Ivy League coaches, three Harvard assistants, a dozen Ivy League players and a bird in a tree outside of Lavietes Pavilion declined to comment.

Lames would have been an impactful addition for a Crimson team that is already making national headlines, currently ranked No. 25 in the coaches’ poll. And he was not the only potential Harvard recruit to suffer a mysterious fate. Amaker was reportedly also close to landing commitments from guard Ebok Tnayrb and center Dwigth Whoard, but both vanished from the scene around the same time as Lames did.

This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Never trust the news.