Column: If you can’t stand family, enjoy an NBA Christmas

It’s the home stretch, people — another week and change until winter break, and for most of us that means a trip home. Go ahead — sleep in your own bed until two in the afternoon, enjoy regular access to a car, forget everything you’ve learned in the last 12 weeks — no one is going to stop you. The holidays are about family, and ... oh man, family. Listen: I have no doubt there are those among us who are grateful, loving children. Good for you. But as for the rest of us?

For the rest of us, a lifetime of being provided with resources and unconditional love buys the family about 48 hours of half-tolerance, and after that, all bets are off. You know this, I know this and David Stern knows this. That’s why the NBA will play its first meaningful games in more than six months on Christmas Day, and there will be five of them, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back, all on national television.

That being said, you can’t ignore your familial responsibilities completely — it’s important to log some quality hours when you can. The key is picking your spots, so here’s a rundown of the five NBA games on Dec. 25 and some advice on what spots to pick.

For non-Christmas celebrators, enjoy the uninterrupted basketball. The fifth day of Hanukkah is when things start to get way too real, anyway.

Boston Celtics @ New York Knicks (12 p.m., TNT)

These two met in the first round of the playoffs last year, and although the Celtics managed a clean sweep, there were a couple of thrillers. Game Two in particular was one to remember — Carmelo Anthony had 42 points, 17 rebounds and six assists in a three-point loss. Thinned by injuries, the Knicks’ crunch-time lineup was Anthony, Toney Douglas, Bill Walker, Shawne Williams and Jared Jeffries. So the fact that Anthony kept that teeming pile of basketball sub-mediocrity within one possession of three Hall-of-Famers and Rajon Rondo is about as definitive a proof of his superstardom as the Knicks are likely to get. Come for the Anthony fadeaway jumpers and stay to see Rondo, who has a history of putting up absurd assist numbers against New York.

Verdict: Watch it. Get a head start on casual holiday drinking — you know Charles Barkley will be.

Miami Heat @ Dallas Mavericks (2:30 p.m., ABC)

A rematch of the preposterously entertaining NBA Finals, this one doesn’t need a lot of selling — the Heat sells itself. The Mavericks are a year older and the Heat is a year into its nefarious world domination plans, and while Dallas’ pregame ring ceremony is its own kind of statement, the game itself has all the markings of a Heat statement win. The matchup is an intriguing one if only because the two teams looked like they were playing different sports last year — while the Mavericks were running their meticulous Rick Carlisle game plan, succeeding through tough interior defense and the lights out mid-range shooting of Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Terry, the Heat were above the rim and outside the arc, looking to push the ball and stagnating in the half court.

The story was great for basketball — the Mavericks’ top three players were not as talented, but the team had more depth and worked better together. But the Heat is too fast, too strong and too smart — winning a title is not a matter of if; it’s a matter of when. This might mark the beginning of a new era of basketball.

Verdict: Watch it. Hone your German accent.

Chicago Bulls @ LA Lakers (5:00 p.m., ABC)

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Like defense? Like Joakim Noah’s alien mug? Like a rusty Kobe Bryant hoisting up questionable jumpers? Like Derrick Rose getting relentlessly beat up in the paint by the Lakers’ duo of seven-footers? Rose and Bryant are two of the most exciting players in the league to watch, but this is going to be a grind. If you watch basketball for fundamentally solid team defense (and hey, some people do!), have a seat, but otherwise ...

Verdict: Skip it. It’s dinnertime anyway, and you’re not too late to miss the inevitable political and/or religious discussion!

Orlando Magic @ Oklahoma City Thunder (8:00 p.m., ESPN)

Kevin Durant is the best pure scorer there is, and one of the most intriguing subplots of this season will be whether Russell Westbrook ever realizes it. Westbrook is fearless, but the line between fearlessness and overconfidence is a thin one. The Thunder front office has been as smart as anyone in the draft, and it has been rewarded with a dynamic young team. A lot was made of Kevin Durant’s humble signing of his contract extension, but the move made sense: He has been surrounded with equally young talent, and the team is going to be a contender for the next half-decade at least. The Magic is an example of exactly how to let a franchise player get away — Dwight Howard is going to head elsewhere, and at this point there’s nothing Orlando can do about it. No one wants to watch a dead team walking.

Verdict: Skip it. Possible small talk opportunity: Where would you rather live less, Oklahoma City or Orlando?

LA Clippers @ Golden State Warriors (10:30 p.m., ESPN)

It is well understood at this point that Blake Griffin is a walking highlight reel. He can do things no one else can do, and he does them frequently. There is no better representation of the joy and spontaneity of basketball than Griffin simply because every time he steps on the court he brings with him the possibility that you will see something you have never seen before. The fact that he is going up against an indifferent Warriors defense that has the potential to be historically bad? That’s gravy.

Verdict: Watch it. Curl up in the dark and let the dulcet tones of Jeff Van Gundy lull you into a deep, warm sleep.