Column: The virtual playing field

There is a group of competitors on the Princeton campus that is rather mysterious and never accepts interview requests. Psychoanalysts have suggested that this is a direct result of their secluded training exercises. While traditional sports teams practice on freshly cut grass or glossy gym floors, these athletes often prefer to practice and compete in the comfort of their own dorms, where there are minimal distractions from the task at hand. No, this is not the chess club’s 15 minutes of fame. The following is dedicated to the numerous gamers on campus.

The online gaming community is composed of both die-hard competitors, typically known as those playing World of Warcraft for weeks on end, and the part-time enthusiasts, who may engage in a few games of Robot Unicorn Attack each day. In attempt to learn more about the individuals who compete in these international contests, with the ultimate goal of understanding what motivates them to sit in front of their computers and click their mouse repeatedly for hours, I have decided to enter their world, with the help of some experienced gamers.

Since the most recent gaming system I am familiar with is Nintendo 64, my gaming guru has suggested that I start with a simple offline game to hone my skills without being embarrassed in an online forum. This weekend, I plan to devote at least 12 hours, if not more, to playing in the offline realm of Left 4 Dead. Once I can demonstrate significant improvement in both long and short-range firing, my team will then engage in online battles.

For those not familiar with Left 4 Dead, it is a first-person shooter and survival horror game. Essentially, a disease called the “Green Flu,” has infected the world and caused most of humanity to become what appear to be zombies. Four characters, living in Pennsylvania, somehow managed to avoid infection, and the game is their action-filled story of survival. Since the game designers wanted the story to be as realistic as possible, all surviving characters are actually Princeton alumni. (That last bit is not exactly true, but since the characters’ biographies do not state which colleges they attended, I decided to fill in the blanks with my best guess.)

As far as anxieties go, I am partially afraid that I will get zero work done this weekend. I am already severely prone to procrastination, and I cannot imagine that adding mandatory video-gaming hours to my schedule will help. But I knew this undertaking would be difficult from the start, and if I turn back now, I will lose all my street cred in the gaming community before I even join it.

This weekend will certainly be a struggle both mentally and physically. In preparation I am training my index finger to become a respectable “trigger finger,” which will be clicking the mouse every time a zombie on the screen threatens my computer-generated character’s survival. Furthermore, I have been doing research on the game’s settings. Thanks to my fellow gamers who have beaten the game multiple times, information on secret entrances and shortcuts has been posted on certain websites.

For those of you who wish to watch my progress once I am finally flaunting my anti-zombie skills online, my username will be “Train3,” and I will be accompanied by “Train1,” “Train2” and “Train4.” Watch out, this train has no brakes…