Loving your neighbor at college starts as soon as you move into your dorm and meet your new roommate or roommates. Students at Princeton often say that they learn as much through conversations with their roommates as they learn in any class they take. As students at the same college, you will have a lot in common. But you also may be from different cultural, racial, religious, sexual-orientation or geographical backgrounds. Loving your neighbor involves knowledge about who they are, where they come from, what is important to them and why. You don’t have to agree with them on everything, but take advantage of your close living proximity to learn about your new neighbor and respect them for their differences. Just as you want to be appreciated for who you are, practice loving your neighbor for who they are.
Of course, loving your neighbor involves more than just learning about them. Loving involves caring. While college is often described as the best years of your life, it can also be hard. You and your classmates will struggle with the pressure of social expectations and difficult classes. Loving your neighbor means noticing if your roommate is engaged in excessive drinking, has eating problems or suffers from depression, and it involves helping them to get the help they need. Don’t be afraid to talk to your RCA or your Director of Student Life if you have concerns.
There are plenty of co-curricular activities that will provide you with the opportunity to love your neighbor. Whether you are involved in sports, a religious group, the arts, student government or cultural clubs, you can be that person who includes and has a kind word for everyone, and provides a powerful center which holds a group together. While you do not have to be elected a leader to do this, loving your neighbor gives you a leadership role in any community.
This also extends beyond your dorm room and into the classroom. Even if you are entering Princeton knowing you want to major in a certain subject, be open to the possibility of falling in love with literary characters, historical figures or current people across the globe whose lives have something to teach you about how to live your own. With loving your neighbor as a guiding principle, your studies will gain a sense of purpose: Consider how to harness the knowledge you are acquiring in service of the common good of all the world’s neighbors.
Every university offers opportunity for service to the wider community in which the college is situated. At Princeton our Student Volunteers Council encourages students to tutor local school children, play piano for senior citizens, work in soup kitchens or be active in environmentalist groups. Loving your neighbors who live outside of Princeton’s grounds will give you some much needed sense of perspective that transcends your grades and social network and will give you satisfaction as you are offering your service to others.
Most of this advice has been how you should direct love at those around you. But loving your neighbor as yourself requires that you start by loving yourself. This means caring for yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. And it is as important that you do this as anything else. Sleep when you are tired, eat when you are hungry, pray and meditate when you feel off center. Be as loving and forgiving to yourself as you are toward others.
Love your neighbor as yourself and Princeton will be a wonderful adventure and will prepare you for a full and rich life. See you around campus this fall!
Paul Raushenbush is an associate dean of religious life and the Chapel. He can be reached at praushen@princeton.edu.
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