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Please stow complaints in the overhead compartment

Things started out normally - I printed out my ticket online, arrived at the airport, had to take an Etch-a-Sketch out of my luggage to prove to security it wasn't a computer, etc. - but when it was time for my flight to board, the system started going awry. See, the airline I fly with randomly assigns its passengers an order for boarding within three different groups - first class, business and coach. This wouldn't be a problem, but the airline-and in particular, Nancy, the head flight attendant - really wants people to fly first class, since they just spent $136 million to upgrade it. So they kept making changes to the boarding process in an effort to expand the first-class seating.

The flight attendant's desire to push this agenda clearly didn't resonate well with the passengers, many of whom prefer the other sections. For example, in business class, you don't have to eat the airline peanuts, but if you want to sit there, you have to promise cross-your heart and hope to die that you'll provide your own peanuts. You won't have the option of participating in any of the unlimited or block peanut plans offered in first class. And you sure as hell better not sneak back to coach, where the seats might not be as new or as nice as first class, but the peanuts come from an outside vendor and alcoholic drinks are offered.

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The complications increase because of an airline policy that allows passengers to check in with multiple boarding groups. Since most of the passengers value a good seat regardless of what section they're in, a lot of them use this option, see what their randomly assigned order is and then sit in whatever section offers them the best chance of an aisle seat. But when the flight attendants see that a large number of people have checked in under all three sections, Nancy points only to the 20 percent increase in the demand for first class and tries to cram as many passengers in that section as possible. This is part of her ultimate goal to convert every seat to first class, putting an end to the coach section's infamous parties in "The Aisle."

The trouble intensified when we were all lined up at the gate, ready to go, and Nancy got on the microphone to announce that rows 7 and 8 of business class were being re-designated as first-class seats. It seemed absolutely ridiculous to be announcing these changes mere moments before we got on board and made our seating choices, and the wave of grumbling and complaining that rippled through the crowd prompted Nancy and the rest of the flight crew to return row 7 of the business seats and choose a slightly less popular row of seats from coach to annex. Still, they were clearly going forward with their plan regardless of widespread opinion.

I was lucky enough to be near the front of the line for coach, and I managed to get a good seat. But I was still a bit angry - I would've preferred the seat right in front of me, but it had been changed to first class mere minutes before I got on board. And I felt awful for the poor folks in business class, who lost one of their best rows of seats and didn't have many other options. A significant number of them got screwed, and they couldn't apply for seat improvement because of their pinky-swear not to eat the airline peanuts, and dammit, that's just not right.

I realize my travel experiences are boring, but I think this illustrates some major flaws in the airline's boarding policy, and maybe if I'm lucky one of the flight attendants will read this and realize how unfair they've made the system. I would've discussed some hot-button issue like housing and meal-plan options, but that debate's been going on for weeks and the University won't listen anyway.

 

    Brandon Lowden is an electrical engineering major from McKees Rocks, Pa. He can be reached at blowden@princeton.edu

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