'Relationship protocol'

For many a Princeton student, Valentine's Day has been looming ominously on the horizon for some time now, remembered occasionally with a slight shudder. After all, students frequently criticize romantic life on this campus – take your pick, they say, between a quick, one night "hookup" and an intense, longterm relationship, because there is no middle ground. So, for many of us, today brings a question: how do we reconcile the traditional romantic meaning of Valentine's Day with new relationship patterns?

In our grandparents' generation — and, for some, our parents' — casual dating was the norm. Boys courted several girls at a time, taking one to dinner Friday night and another to the movies on Saturday. Girls generally had their own "little black book" of admirers with whom they spent their evenings. Unless a couple decided to "go steady," it was generally accepted that each person would be casually seeing others at the same time.

Needless to say, the standards of our generation are quite different — if, in fact, any standards remain. For us, there is no clear set of rules for initiating a relationship with a romantic partner. Our generation is in a state of "relationship protocol" transition; the current protocol is nothing at all. Indeed, the "casual date" has become so infrequent and unusual that, when an interested young man asks someone out, the event often takes on more significance than either side ever intended. Without such dates, the idea of "going steady" is obsolete because there is nothing to precede it — you're either going or you're not.

However, the 'Prince' believes that it is wrong to frame the issue only in terms of the Princeton campus. The shifting tides of relationship standards have left casual dating behind for nearly all American youth, not just the "Organization Kids" at Princeton. Rules generally exist for a reason, and rules for dating existed because they made the experience easier for both sides. Unfortunately, these guideposts are unlikely to return, at least not at a time when it will affect many of us. So, to those with Valentines, the 'Prince' wishes you the best; to those without, happy hunting — it's a strange new world.