Sleep no more: The new remedy?

At 4:30 a.m. last Monday morning, one of my roommates answered the phone. "Hi. No, don't worry. All four of us are awake. Working."

Welcome to my life. While I suspect there are people who thrive on three hours of sleep a day (you're crazy and I'm jealous of you), I'm certainly not one of them. Once it hits 2 a.m., my body enters another dimension, a fuzzy one with lots of dots. Seven hours later, the day is a success if I remember to put my shoes on before trudging to class, where I'm sure to nod off and leave drippy ink blobs all over my notes.

I know I'm not alone in my perpetual sleep deprivation. Most of us have schedules packed beyond capacity and an ever-growing list of things to do. "MORE TIME!" we wail in vain. (Those of you who don't understand, please throw a few spare IQ points my way.) We can only chug coffee and revolting Red Bull for so long, and then we crash. There is no way around it. We need to sleep.

The biotech company Cephalon Inc., with its new drug Provigil, plans to change that. "Provigil, some doctors and users say, has the ability to keep people awake and alert for hours, or even days. And it appears to do so without the side effects — the buzz and jitteriness or the risk of addiction — of coffee or amphetamines," says The New York Times.

My caffeine-buzzed, jittery self read that quote at least nine times before moving on. Too good to be true? Too bizarre for 2002? But then again, people thought we'd have colonies on Mars by now. This may be better.

According to the rest of the article, Provigil has been approved for narcoleptics but is increasingly used by others who want to ward off undesired sleepiness. Doctors everywhere could someday prescribe the drug to anyone from overworked surgeons to graveyard-shift guards to stressed students. Basically, anyone who thinks the day is too short — which in my book means anyone over the age of 11.

For all I know, by tomorrow Provigil will be as relevant as flat earth theory, and my column will be useless (assuming that it isn't already). But the idea is intriguing. If such a drug is eventually approved, it is likely to become a mainstream, lifestyle drug in our society. And at the rate of scientific advancement, who knows how much sleep we will "need" in a matter of years?

There is something vaguely frightening in the idea of downsizing what since the beginning of mankind has been as basic as our need for food and oxygen.

It seems so perfect. If we could work in the time that we should be sleeping now, we could spend our days with our families and friends, relaxing and pursuing hobbies instead of sitting in offices or dorm rooms peering wistfully out windows. It's tempting to think that more time can bring people long-elusive fulfillment and happiness. And what about special cases? Imagine a society with an army that never rests, or a head of state that never stops leading. And the work force could be simply amazing.

But does anyone truly believe that if this drug became mainstream, our free time would increase? I suspect that our working hours would swell dramatically. People would have 22-hour workdays. We'd take seven, eight classes (those of you who already have such schedules, you know what to do). Even if we never slept, we would always want more time to do more things. Time, like money, can never be enough, let alone bring us happiness.

Are we letting pills solve our problems? Are we being overprescribed drugs? Think about the widow or widower taking antidepressants in an attempt to skip the mourning process. Since when is mourning not a natural part of life? What about the rowdy toddler given Ritalin so he's more like his calmer peers? Why are we afraid of who we are? Sleepiness doesn't indicate that we are pathetic weaklings destined for failure. It means we're human. It's worrisome when the characteristics we wish for — high productivity, constant energy, optimal results — are that of, well, Energizer bunnies.

There is potential for danger here in social ramifications, not to mention possible health drawbacks that we may not realize until it's too late. Think cigarettes. Asbestos. Cellphones. (All right, so the last one's just my random theory that nobody shares.)

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Progress is good, but so is sleeping. While it's fabulous that I'm literally "always available" for friends to reach me, my getting enough sleep is probably more important. And never going to happen.

I share my longing for sleep with Macbeth, who says: "Innocent sleep/sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care/The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath/Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course/Chief nourisher in life's feast . . . Macbeth shall sleep no more."

The difference is, he bore the guilt of killing a gazillion people. I'm just taking midterms. Julie Park is a sophomore from Wayne, Nj. She can be reached at jypark@princeton.edu.