Frequent e-mail, smuggled coffee, free cannolis: all in a day's work

[In honor of the commencement of final exams, a treatise on the Mecca of Mental Cultivation, the Epicenter of Erudition, the Capital of Cramming: Firestone Library.]

8:03 a.m.: Arrive at Firestone Library. Approach entrance guard, PUID in hand. Strict adherence to the "No PUID, no admittance" policy relieves fear of possible library infiltration by members of non-University public shamelessly trying to read.

8:04 a.m.: Refused admittance to Library based on small, covered beverage in hand. Reminded by guard of library policy to admit only beverages housed in mugs or paper bags. Lamenting disinclination to carry empty paper bags on person at all times, run across Nassau Street to closest food establishment; request empty paper bag. Employee appears familiar with request.

8:10 a.m.: Return to Firestone Library. Stop in library anteroom and spot guard through glass enclosures; establish eye contact. Loudly shake open paper bag, maintaining eye contact with guard. Carefully place beverage into paper bag. Never averting eyes, easily gain admission to library for self and beverage-shaped paper bag.

8:11 a.m.: Enter first floor Trustees Reading Room. Note that at 11 minutes following opening of library, all periphery tables already occupied by individuals pursuing higher degrees. Note that while only one such individual occupies each table, books cover entire surface of all said tables.

8:12 a.m.: Locate seat at single remaining empty table. Prepare to work.

8:13 a.m.: Plug laptop's ethernet cord into 'new and improved' reading room tables. Grateful for said tables, as eliminate need to waste valuable studying time by trekking 15 feet to library computer.

9:27 a.m.: Finish e-mailing, searching Internet for valuable research-related materials, e.g. new winter wardrobe. Feel disdain for individual who proposed ethernet connections at all library tables.

9:31 a.m.: Joined at table by individual clad predominantly in shades of black and neutral. Said individual appears loathe to remove scarf, regardless of room's striking climatic resemblance to sauna.

9:32 a.m.: Blackand neutral-clad friends spot cold-necked individual, gather belongings and move to my table. Begin speaking at full volume in native tongue. Wonder why friends think speaking at full volume is not disturbing to observers when in non-English language.

9:35 a.m.: Librarian answers telephone, volume of voice drowns out non-English banter at my own table. Gain valuable information concerning librarian's social schedule, sick mother, son's peewee soccer. Understand slightly why others believe speaking at full volume acceptable.

12:43 p.m.: After several hours of work sandwiched between half-hourly e-mailing, several periods of feigned interest in 19th century trustees listed on windows and 45-minute visit to friend's carrel on east side of B-floor — second only in crowdedness and social value of attendance to taproom of unnamed eating club on this side of paradise — decide to take quick lunch.

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2:36 p.m.: Return from lunch. Accompanying friend carries coffee, masked neither in mug nor paper bag. Friend removes coat in glass-enclosed anteroom and throws over beverage-carrying arm. Notice friendly guard distributing pastries to diligent students. As friend passes entrance desk, said guard asks if friend would like cannoli to accompany her coffee.

2:38 p.m.: Reenter reading room. Notice Outdoor Action group member not acknowledged since freshman year and go to catch up. While speaking quietly, detect burning sensation on neck. Turn to see hostile glare — through thick black eyeglasses — of individual clad simultaneously in skirt and pants, containing every hue on visible spectrum. Wonder where said individual was when non-English speakers, librarian conversed earlier. Also wonder whether deprivation of daylight compromises said uncommonly clad individual's ability to discern loudness of color combinations. Will wait until said individual leaves for half-hourly cigarette to continue quiet conversation.

4:17 p.m.: Determine that lack of progress in work result of environment. Seek new studying venue.

4:21 p.m.: Arrive at A-floor reserve room. Unidentified sorority meeting appears to have relocated from Stephens Fitness Center. Amazed at versatility of Herve Chapelier bags to handle gym and study needs. Decide to move on.

4:23 p.m.: Pass entrance to B-floor; remember social pressure of east-side carrels. Move on.

4:25 p.m.: Only C-floor remains. Fail to find table not covered by open books, strategically placed to reserve maximum space for absent occupant. Note dust settled on said books and wonder if said occupant has been present since reserving said table at 8:01 a.m.

4:28 p.m.: Resort to human-sized locker for study space.

4:31 p.m.: Carrel silence prevents work. Pack up belongings and hope square foot of space remains in first floor reading room. Julie Straus is a Wilson School major from Potomac, Md. She can be reached at straus@princeton.edu.