An exercise in patience

3:57 p.m. Arrive at Dillon Gymnasium. Walk through women's locker room toward Stephens Fitness Center relieved that arrival is before 4:30 post-class rush.

3:59 p.m. Enter Stephens Fitness Center. Relief abates. Fitness Center packed. Body temperature — elevated in sauna-like Fitness Center anteroom — soars even prior to commencement of workout.

4:00 p.m. Wind through labyrinth of stationary bikes. Was unsuccessful at locating widest path through said bikes. Elbows in pain from contact with said closely-positioned bikes.

4:01 p.m. Approach elliptical trainer section of Fitness Center. All machines occupied. Appear to be interrupting unidentified sorority chapter meeting in progress. Wade through rainbow-colored pile of Herve Chapelier bags to aisle in front of machines. Ask person on machine one how much time remaining in workout. "20 minutes." Ask person on machine two: "20 minutes." Machine three: "7 minutes." Continue to see if can do better. Machines four and five: "20 minutes." Machine six: "I just got on." Machine seven: "20 minutes." Commit to machine three and wait seven minutes.

4:08 p.m. Machine three picks up four-pound InStyle magazine and dismounts.

4:09 p.m. Set machine for 30-minute workout, maximum workout time allowed. Glance around Fitness Center and long lines by treadmills and elliptical machines are subtle reminders of impetus behind 30-minute maximum setting.

4:13 p.m. Lulled into peaceful calm by soft percussion of the best of PST's music variety — interrupted only by said station's heartfelt nationalist messages and Katmandu commercials — drowning out the sounds on my own walkman.

4:16 p.m. Desire to suppress cacophony compels me to watch closed-captions scrolling across televisions. Continue watching until unintelligibility of closed-captions ruins enjoyment of sophisticated humor of WB network and complex legal arguments of Fox Television's Judge Judy wannabe.

4:19 p.m. Not watching television places large wall mirrors in field of vision. Quickly realize distaste for watching odd facial contortions and bouncing ponytails of self, others. Seek new visual stimulus.

4:20 p.m. Eyes wander to stationary bikes section. Ponder comfort level of sweatpant-and-hooded-sweatshirt-clad wrestlers. Amused by sighting of former preceptors in early-'80s-era Adidas shorts and Converse hightops. Troubled by aimless wanderings of Stephens Fitness Center staff.

4:24 p.m. Friend arrives, seeking free elliptical machine. Proceeds down line of machines, stopping at each to ask how much time remaining. Approaches person to left, on machine two: "20 minutes." Recall to self that same person had 20 minutes when self asked same question 23 minutes ago. Now, self has 20 minutes remaining. Self questions own math abilities, recalls poor experience in Math 104 and remains confused. Friend moves to person on right, machine four. Machine four, too, has 20 minutes remaining. Self judges own math abilities inadequate, seeks mental stimulation. Returns attention to Judge Judy wannabe.

4:25 p.m. Raise volume on walkman and continue workout. Periodically interrupted by droplets of unidentified chemical from Fitness Center-provided spray bottles ricocheting off nearby machines onto own arms.

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4:31 p.m. Notice rapidly growing lines by elliptical machines and treadmills. Attention turns to multiple rows of empty stationary bikes. Mind ponders strategy of Fitness Center equipment purchases.

4:36 p.m. Post-seminar rush now in full force. All bikes occupied. Even scary escalator-type Stairmaster occupied. Cannot recall gym ever being so packed last year. Spend several minutes contemplating source of dramatically increased Fitness Center attendance during week not at beginning of semester or immediately preceding major social event on campus.

4:44 p.m. Com-plete 30-minute workout plus five-minute cool-down. Hesitantly grab spray bottle and mangy rag to wipe down machine. Ponder disinfecting powers of said cleaning tools. Return to retrieve personal items from machine to find multiple Herve Chapelier-bag owners fighting for use of machine. Back up to allow better view of ensuing cat-fight. Unfortunately, occupants of machines two and four provide no outlet for fight participants, as each still has 20 minutes remaining in workout.

4:45 p.m. Exit Stephens Fitness Center. Notice sign on doors of Fitness Center announcing "Free Body Fat Testing" by Fitness Center staff. Fear effect of such announcements and services on Fitness Center attendees. Concern about Fitness Center capacity, combined with blatant disregard for machine-imposed workout time limits, grows. Cannot wait for arrival of spring and resumed use of outdoors as fitness apparatus. Julie Straus is a Wilson School major from Potomac, Md. She can be reached at straus@princeton.edu.