The senior thesis is perhaps the greatest task faced by Princeton undergraduates, but it is also the greatest excuse ever invented. If you want an extension on that paper, or you don't feel like attending that weekly meeting, or you really, really don't want to go out for coffee with that person, you just drop the T-bomb. "Sorry, I have to work on my thesis" elicits sympathetic nods from underclassmen, allowance from professors (however reluctantly granted) and winking complicity from other seniors.
The truth is, the thesis is not such a big deal — or it wouldn't be if it were actually the year-long project that it is supposed to be. However, for the vast majority of seniors, thesis season has only just begun. It's our own fault, some would say. We made a deal with the devil, trading a semester of slack for a few months in the fluorescent-lit, caffeine-fueled world of long-term sleep deprivation.
Undoubtedly, the legitimacy of the thesis excuse is compromised by the elective nature of spring thesis-related stress. Nonetheless, dear underclassmen, please respect it. In a metaphysical sort of way, you are actually excusing yourselves in excusing us.
It is my personal belief that only fate, a mere accident of birth, has placed you in the class of '02, '03 or '04 rather than among the current senior-year walking dead. It is hard to believe that, if placed in our shoes, you would not procrastinate as we have. You will have your chance sometime in the next three years to prove me wrong, but I don't think you will even try.
First, your recently-graduated friends will unwittingly help perpetuate the tradition of thesis delay. Last week I anxiously e-mailed a friend, "Mike," from the Class of 2000. Was I behind on my thesis? Mike replied reassuringly, "Don't stress. At this point last year I think 'Sam' was starting his research all over again, and 'Sarah' didn't even know that seniors had to write theses. You're in great shape." (All names have been changed to protect the indolent.)
Naturally, I relaxed, and therein lies the tragedy. I remember reading somewhere that human beings cannot remember the actual sensation of pain. I think this must be true, for it is clear to me now that if Mike had truly remembered the thesis-writing process, he would have been less reassuring about my progress.
Second, you will find little social reinforcement within the senior class for early completion of your thesis. Students who finish their first drafts early are more likely to be stoned by their foot-dragging classmates, dying as martyrs of diligence, than they are to be bought drinks, slapped on the back or sincerely congratulated. We're all in this together. Prudence will not be tolerated.
Thus, as much as I would like to urge underclassmen to call seniors out on the thesis excuse, something holds me back. At heart, we are all slackers. This year's seniors deserve the epitaph, "As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be." Melissa Waage '01 is a politics major from Johnson City, TN. She can be reached at mrwaage@princeton.edu.