Will N.J. follow others in trampling telemarketers?

There are few groups of people I rank as abysmally as telemarketers, those incessantly harassing individuals who phone me with a poorly written sales pitch for some product I have no need for.

Confronted with the unfortunate reality of being rudely awakened by one of these individuals, I utter a prayer that the conniving businessman who dreamt up the idea of telemarketing spends eternity in the sixth circle of hell — along with the Baha Men, authors of the current pop song, "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

While procrastinating on my JP the other day, I griped to my father about the increasing incidence of these phone calls at Princeton. He reminded me that several years ago, my occasionally enlightened home state of Georgia passed a law largely eliminating telemarketers from intruding into his life. I advocate that New Jersey pass a similar law.

Here's how Georgia's law operates: Any citizen can pay $5 to place his or her name and phone number on a state-maintained "do not call" list. Telemarketing firms are then responsible for periodically contacting the state government to obtain this list, and for removing the listed names from their databases. Companies continuing to call individuals on the state's list face a $2,000 fine for each individual telephone call made.

Needless to say, companies paying a $2,000 fine for a phone call selling $19.95 widgets will need to hire some enterprising Princeton-grad consultant to devise a more viable business model. My family, who paid the $5, reports that the cacophony of dinner-time phone ringing has dwindled to near silence.

Georgia's telemarketing prohibition sparked a growing nationwide trend that has spread to California, Missouri, Kansas and most recently, New York — whose residents will probably be horrified to learn that their homeland is following a trail first cut by a southern state. For those of us at Princeton who don't enjoy being rudely awakened at 8 a.m. and asked if we need a new MasterCard, New Jersey has not yet expressed an interest in jumping on this bandwagon. We will soon be left to the mercy of some unemployed New York telemarketers, attempting a last-ditch effort to save their businesses.

I understand telemarketing entrepreneurs are somewhat perturbed by this burgeoning nationwide trend, much the same way the asbestos manufacturers saw the writing on the wall when state legislators started drafting laws against their product. While I agree that in this capitalist country of ours you have the right to try to make money off of a business, that right does not extend to companies whose contribution to "business" consists of making incessant, harassing phone calls to people who wish to be left alone. It's my telephone, not theirs, and if I don't want them to bother me by making it ring, they do not have the right to do so.

Think of the benefits of laws banning sales calls — more sleep, less telemarketer-induced aggravation, more sleep and, finally, more sleep. And when we graduate, we'll be able to eat dinner in peace (I don't plan on staying in New Jersey, but some of us probably will opt for that unfortunate option).

Despite these, and other as-yet undiscovered benefits of anti-telemarketing legislation, I recognize this column probably won't have much effect on the state legislature, aside from providing me what relief I can derive by blowing off steam. New Jersey legislators, I predict, will ignore the editorial voice of a student who doesn't even vote here. So for my remaining year-and-a-half at this institution, I'll continue my policy of informing telemarketers that I've passed away. Peter Harrell is a politics major from Atlanta. He can be reached at pharrell@princeton.edu.