The Princeton Shakespeare Company has once again taught the University a valuable lesson about spatial dynamics. The recent presentation of the "Merry Wives of Windsor" on Prospect Lawn reminds us how much space waits to be utilized by the Princeton community.
But why should we concern ourselves with space? There are many reasons. First, space is the final frontier (not the West, or Siberia, as some are apt to think). Second, space occupies the largest key on the standard keyboard. It's even bigger than both "Shift" keys combined. Third, aspects of space account for three out of the four accepted dimensions. Ask any math major — that's 75 percent. And fourth, Kevin "Space"y was the star of "American Beauty."
In light of the overwhelming evidence, let's turn our attention to space here at Princeton. As the Shakespeare Company prepares for its winter production of "Coriolanus" atop the Frist Center monorail, other campus groups should share an interest in creative relocation. Perhaps the Mime Company could perform in Firestone library. The librarians won't have to "shush" them. Maybe the diving team could practice shallow diving in the Woody Woo fountain while the EMTs simultaneously practice emergency neck realignment. Possibly ROTC could simulate the horrors of POW life by being locked within a McCosh basement precept room for 50 minutes. Or what if the Princeton Tory held its meetings in Holder courtyard rather than the fiery depths of Hades?
But let us not stop there. It's time academics branch out as well. Yeah, McCosh 50 might be large but what about Lot 23? It's bigger. It actually would be nice to hop out of stuffy buildings once in a while and experience the fresh air. Socrates didn't teach in a lecture hall. True, Albert Einstein did, but no argument is foolproof. If the administration had allowed Albert the opportunity to leave the confines of academia, he would have leapt at the chance, and, I predict, discovered the theory of relativity sooner.
It just seems that so much land the British stole from Native Americans is being wasted now, and there aren't enough intramural soccer games to fill in the gaps. It's as if land is off-limits if there are not four walls around it and a lock or prox-sensor on the door.
Do like the Shakespeare Company does. Mix things up. It makes things interesting when someone actually steps on Prospect Lawn. It might actually draw a crowd to that abstruse, esoteric club or guest speaker series you're involved with. Or take those stuffy buildings and jazz them up. Have some kind of musical concert in McCosh 10. Sure the acoustics might be bad, but that can be used as an excuse if the performers are also bad. Streamline the mediocrity while providing comfy seats. So next time you see the Shakespeare Company debuting "King Lear" behind the hoagie counter at the Wa, remember, you can do that too. Don't forget that Einstein wanted to, and he was really smart.
Spatial mysteries will always exist: What lies within a black hole? Where exactly does Poe Field end and Pardee Field begin? Who owns the Gaza Strip? How do three right turns equal one left turn? How many feet are in a mile? Who shot J.R.? But what don't have to remain mysteries are practical solutions to spatial dilemmas. Next time that Abnormal Psychology class gets overcrowded, move it into the football stadium, 17th-century garb and all. I'll be Falstaff, you be wolf-boy. Eric Bland is an English major from Richmond, Va. He can be reached at ebbland@princeton.edu.
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