Political clones drive frustrated voters to third parties

It certainly is shaping up to be a thrilling House race here in New Jersey's 12th district. All around campus, political fever buzzes, with students wracking their minds as to whether Democratic incumbent Rush Holt will allay the brave onslaught waged on his Congressional seat by the venerable Republican Dick Zimmer. Tension especially escalates among those citizens known as "Democrats" and those called "Republicans" who seem to have the upper hand in this year's election, boasting both candidates between them.

Nerves bubble as vital issues are left up for grabs. It seems that both candidates think issues like "pretending to save the environment" and "saying special interest groups really stink" are important, but each does so in a microscopically different manner, thereby leaving the future of our nation in a precarious state of doubt.

All of this attests to the undeniable assertion that such a volatile, innovative political struggle has been foreign to the political landscape of Jersey's 12th District since the days of 1998 — the very same year our nation's indefatigable healer and talisman of hope, Abraham Lincoln, restored order to a divided union, give or take two centuries.

And so I question my own validity as a United States citizen when, after perusing the affairs of each candidate, the only factoid I can recall on cue is that Rush Holt is a Quaker. But how am I to judge the subtle, yet monumental, intricacies that separate these two stalwarts bearing identical haircuts? Between a Holt, labeled a "Taxpayer Hero" by the Taxpayers for Common Sense Action, and a Zimmer, designated a "Taxpayer Superhero" by the Citizens Against Government Waste? Between a Holt, praised as a "true friend of the environment" by the Sierra Club, and a Zimmer, hailed as an "Environmental Hero" by the League of Conservation Voters?

And what if I cast the wrong vote, and rather than our government contemplating the extension of health care to all citizens, it instead ponders achieving universal health care. Or in place of forging a plan to save Social Security, Washington instead seeks a solution to the growing Social Security crisis. Or rather than invading foreign countries to employ an American peace, it chooses to deploy U.S. soldiers into other sovereignties to shape their political structure to our liking.

Yes, Rush Holt and Dick Zimmer stand worlds apart. Am I saying that one is from Mars and the other from Venus? No, no, the difference is much vaster. It's as though one were from Princeton Township and the other from Princeton Borough.

As the feeble nerve-bundle in my head becomes wracked with explosive mental fruit-mush, I ponder taking other paths where other choices exist.

For example, what if, in the general election, I voted for...Ralph Nader '55? Who? What? Hah! Kidding. Right? Ralph? Really? Well, hmmm...

And I swear it's not that I'd do it just because Eddie Veddar said it was a good idea at the Pearl Jam concert. Or so I can exercise my apathy, the glorious blessing of youth. Nor would a vote for Nader be part of a vain desire to hearken back to times when politics excited us and people breathed ideals rather than stock quotes.

But, it would be...fun. To vote for Ralph, that is. Fun as in not being practical, as in being purely emotional. Maybe politics is not the proper arena for this, but maybe once in a while it is.

Sure there might be some degree of economic retardation yet we might also break the pervading chain of social and environmental retardation. Sure, there might be some degree to which big businessmen aren't able to drink more ale, yet we might also be able to institute a nation of morals and raise morale. Sure there might be fallout when government stops catering to special interest committees "ad hoc." (Or as the vulgar Sicilians solecised it, "et hic.") Yet Ralph might also help us work toward establishing a greater American ethic. And so goes the worst political speech ever.

But still there's something to think about. I'm not saying that I'm necessarily voting for Ralph Nader. Throwing away a vote can seem like throwing away a nonbiodegradable container — Ralph himself would admonish the practice. But at least it's something to think about, especially in light of the smoldering House race here in the 12th district. Eric Bland is a English major from Richmond, Va. He can be reached at ebbland@princeton.edu.