Why we stay off the grass

As a person who tries not to litter a lot, I know the importance of the environment. In fact, I like the environment. But I don't just like to look at it, I like to enjoy it. This is why the chains that surround that lush field of grass in front of Prospect House upset me.

Why is that area closed off to students? Is it so we can show off how pretty our school is to rich alumni? The same motivation behind Butler College's design, right? Well, I've concluded that University administrators must have something in mind for that space in front of Prospect House.

Maybe they'll build the new residential college there. It'll be of the skyscraper variety. A kind of twin tower to Fine. Fantastic proximity to classes will be compromised by the fact that you reside on Floor 37.

Or possibly the U-Store will set up a shantytown on that location to more efficiently run its sweatshops. This will require a large Big Top tent and many buckets of gruel — oh, and free U-Store T-shirts for the workers! Of course, those T-shirts will have to be sewn by the laborers themselves, making such a gift bittersweet.

Then there's always the chance that the University will sell the plot to Hoagie Haven, which will use the space to breed its cockroaches. Or maybe DDS will breed its cockroaches there. You get to thinking that Hoagie Haven just breeds a better cockroach.

Maybe Peter Singer and Steve Forbes '70 will be left in the middle of that wilderness with a bag of gorp and a pitch-tent and be forced to undergo a week of OA together.

Possibly the University is withholding the space to bury the remains of the student center after it's demolished. Honestly, it couldn't have been expected to last without a beverage laboratory.

Or maybe there actually is a building on that site. Maybe that's where the Princeton Mime Company's clubhouse is located. We may never know — the mimes will never admit it.

If the above suppositions are misguided, as one may suspect them to be, then what's the fence doing there? Is the University that afraid that the students will destroy the grass? And another thing: Why is it that when someone walks on grass, it's always called "trampling?" "Why are you trampling my grass?" old man Rutabaga used to say when I tried to recover whiffle-ball home runs back in elementary school. "Trampling" is such a negative word. It makes people sound like elephants, trying to stomp the life out of anything in their path. I prefer the word "meander."

Surely wear and tear occurs on trodden grass, but what's the point in maintaining something's beauty if it can never be enjoyed?

So let those chains fall! Let the students sunbathe there! Let them play frisbee there! Let them eat cake there! The dining halls are getting overcrowded. It's about time we students utilized this wasted space. I propose a cookout this Thursday. You bring the grill. Eric Bland is from Richmond, Va. He can be reached at ebbland@princeton.edu.