Spring is upon us and I'm finally happy. Happy because it's opening day and baseball is back. Happy because I don't have to watch Patrick Ewing travel anymore. Happy because I don't have to watch Marty McSorley take batting practice with anyone else's head. Happy because the 2000 season is finally here. Happy because the Cubs are 1-0 and have another chance to win it all. Happy because I can once again watch the greatest game on the face of the earth.
In honor of the new season and the Cubbies opening day performance, here is my team-by-team breakdown for the 2000 season (in order of predicted finish):
NL East:
(1). BRAVES — Rocker is a nut job, but Atlanta still has the best staff in baseball.
(2). METS — New York traded its youth in order to win now. Bobby V. should watch out for flying batteries come September.
(3). PHILLIES — Philadelphia has the talent, but they're in the wrong division.
(4). MARLINS — The floundering fish could use Marino in their starting rotation.
(5). EXPOS — Parlez vous last place?
NL Central:
(1). ASTROS — Three-time division champs should make it four in a row unless they trip over Bagwell's facial hair.
(2). REDS — Hey, they've got Griffey. Hey, they still have no pitching.
(3). CUBS — Kerry Wood, Sammy and Don Baylor will make it an exciting summer in Wrigley.
(4). CARDS — St. Louis has Big Mac and a solid staff. Too bad the annual Busch Stadium plague will strike again, injuring half their players.
(5). PIRATES — Kendall's back, but they're a few years away. Don't we say that about the Bucs every year?
(6). BREWERS — They still have a pro team in Milwaukee?
NL West:
(1). D'BACKS — With the Big Unit and a swimming pool, you can throw some great barbecues and win a division.
(2). GIANTS — Bonds will litter the bay with bombs, but so will opposing teams.
(3). DODGERS — L.A. spends more on 2 players than Third-World countries spend on health care. Bottom line, L.A. is still mediocre.
(4). PADRES — I'm sorry Tony.
(5). ROCKIES — Another year of whiffle ball at Coors. Too bad Colorado looks like they really have plastic bats.
AL East:
(1). YANKEES — The Yankees just reload between seasons. Their fans reload between innings.
(2). RED SOX — How far can a team go with only two good players? I guess we'll see.
(3). ORIOLES — Ripken will reach 3,000 career hits. Joey Belle will receive a $3,000 fine.
(4). BLUE JAYS — Mondesi gets a fresh start, but still has the same attitude problem.
(5). D'RAYS — Bad team, bad stadium, bad season.
AL Central:
(1). INDIANS — With Cleveland's lineup, shouldn't they have won a world title by now?
(2). TIGERS — Juan Gone hits bombs = Tigers have good year in new park.
(3). ROYALS — K.C. has the best young outfield in the game. Too bad they can't pitch and play infield also.
(4). WHITE SOX — Chicago's best player is Magglio Ordonez. Enough said.
(5). TWINS — Take the garbage bag from right field and throw the team in it.
AL West:
(1). A's — Oakland continues to overachieve in front of zero fans.
(2). MARINERS — No Griffey. No Problem. A-Rod and Edgar to the rescue.
(3). RANGERS — The only race anyone from Texas will win is the presidential race.
(4). ANGELS — Too bad Disney spends more money on running Pirates of the Caribbean than it does on the Angels.
Bottom Line (In the World Series):
Indians over Braves, 4-2.
Read More
No. 2 men’s lacrosse overcomes slow start to defeat Penn, 12–8
Hayk YengibaryanThe Tigers’ 10–2 start is their best start to a season since 2009.
The Tigers’ 10–2 start is their best start to a season since 2009.
Women’s lacrosse earns regular season Ivy title after defeating Brown on senior day
Leila Eshaghpour-SilbermanPrinceton women’s lacrosse became regular season Ivy League champions for the first time since 2022.
Princeton women’s lacrosse became regular season Ivy League champions for the first time since 2022.
No. 19 men’s volleyball wins regular season title at Penn State, will host playoffs
Bryant FigueroaFor the first time since 2019 and only the second time in history, the EIVA Tournament is coming back to Dillon Gymnasium this week, April 23 to April 26.
For the first time since 2019 and only the second time in history, the EIVA Tournament is coming back to Dillon Gymnasium this week, April 23 to April 26.