Street | In defense of
Your nose aches. Your fingers are numb. You trudge quickly between buildings, hoping to limit your exposure to the outside world as much as possible, staring at your feet to keep from slipping on the icy paths, head bent into the bitter, vicious wind that scours your cheeks. Welcome to winter in New Jersey, although this winter seems to have been particularly — some might say unnaturally — cold. Thank you, Polar Vortex. “It’s time for it to stop, time for warmer temperatures,” you complain to your roommates. But wait … perhaps you’ve missed the merits of the arctic imposition.
First off, in focusing so much on your feet as you walk along, I think you’ve overlooked just how fashionable everyone looks in the winter. Those big, puffy coats definitely give guys an extra layer of macho muscle. Of course, I don’t need to explain how sexy everyone looks in sweatpants and sweatshirts. I mean, yum-my. Wildly patterned fluffy hats adorned with pompoms and tassels frame the face nicely. Snow boots say “I’m hard-core,” and “I’m in touch with my more primal ancestors. Winter doesn’t scare me.”
Michael Kors or Rachel Zoe could tell you all about just how high-fashion fur is, so bring on the collared jackets and dead rabbits. If you don’t have any, find yourself a frozen squirrel. I’m sure there are plenty around to craft your own fashionable yet functional accessories — scarves, mittens, earmuffs or, if you’re an enterprising young Princetonian, a full fur coat.
If you aren’t feeling sexy in your multiple layers, though, or happen to worry about those extra holiday “friends” you gained eating goodies, it’s okay. Don’t feel guilty about having already broken your pact with Dillon Gym to visit every day, because there’s no need to exercise actively. Want to know why? Shivering.
That’s right. The longer you spend walking miserably from your room to the library, between classes or huddled pathetically in your room at your desk, the more calories you burn just by shaking, chattering your teeth and bouncing up and down to keep warm. Shivering is the new Prancercise. So Brrrrrrr(ing) it on!
Perhaps the references above to the library, desks and studying have caught your attention. It’s a new term, and a new you. Having seen your grade-deflated transcript on SCORE, you’ve resolved to work harder, work longer, work better. But it’s hard. Luckily though, the cold weather makes studying desirable. Think about it. You walk past Firestone and see the warm glow of lights through the windows. You see people without jackets on, and you think, “Yes. That should be me. I want in!” Even the name is inviting. Fire. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. And ta-da. Your fear of Firestone has been eliminated, and you now see it as a safe haven, a warm cave in which to ensconce yourself and hibernate (working diligently, of course) for the next few months.
I’ll leave you with one final thought. February is here. Dreaded Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. And honey, the cold is only to your advantage when trying to heat up your love life. Use the ice as an excuse to “slip” and grab your crush’s arm or hand as you walk along. No need to let go. Prove how masculine and strong you are by walking outside without a jacket or gloves (you don’t have to do this for long, just long enough … ) And if you already have a significant other, then it’s a great excuse to huddle closer, snuggle up, and cuddle — penguin style.
Disney’s “Frozen” said it best, “Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.” That’s right; it doesn’t. And if it does, well now “Let it Go” is stuck in your head, so there’s that going for you.
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