Princeton Mom T-Shirt, $20, U-Store, 114-116 Nassau St.
Remember that time you got into Princeton? Your mom hasn’t forgotten either. In fact, being here is probably the single greatest accomplishment you have ever achieved (and will ever achieve, if we’re being honest) in your lifetime, and you should make it a point to remind her as much as possible. With her mom tee on, she’ll probably be more forgiving when you later inform her about your steadily deteriorating GPA and complete lack of a future. You definitely want her proudly donning a shirt from the top university in the country for that conversation.
Soiree Classic Wine Decanter, $24.95, Paper Source, 82 Nassau St.
You probably don’t know what a wine decanter really does, and it’s likely that your mom doesn’t actually understand either. Regardless, this would make a perfect present because … you know what? Classy people use them. And you want to let your mom know that you can be classy too. Maybe then she’ll stop getting you Hello Kitty paraphernalia for Christmas (because you’re totally, like, too old for that).
Printed Square Scarf, $55, J.Crew, 1 Palmer Sq.
While this present is a bit on the pricey side, this is your mom we’re talking about — she deserves the best. And nothing would make her happier than a gift from one of those fashionable stores that preppy college students shop at nowadays. All she wants is to keep up with the current style trends, and you’ll make her feel as young and hip as ever.