1. Government shuts down, Princeton students post indignant Facebook statuses and continue living their lives
2. FluFest 2013 features second annual Flu Roulette: Which student will go viral?
3. Dining halls close for Cane Spree; students embark on two-day journey to football field in search of food, water
4. Eisgruber proposes student body expansion: will offer unlimited Hoagie Haven to assist with freshman 15
5. Hello, global warming! Fall fashion guides feature cutoff shorts, bikinis
6. Sophomore and junior females turn out for rush, Shirley Tilghman burns Greek alphabet in effigy