Joke Issue

News & Notes: ‘Prince’ website sets record with three consecutive days online*

The Daily Princetonian’s website,, has remained online without crashing for 74 straight hours, setting a six-month record and prompting some ‘Prince’ editors to speculate that the so-called ‘Curse of Patton’ has finally been broken.

“The most recent no-crash streak is indicative of our commitment to becoming a true 24/7 news organization,” Editor-in-Chief Luc Cohen ’14 said, while lighting candles in a shrine in the newsroom with a voodoo representation of Susan Patton ’77 in the center.

On March 29, when Patton’s viral Letter to the Editor was published, the ‘Prince’ website crashed and disappeared from the Internet for nine days. Cohen said at the time that the notion that Patton’s letter contributed to the crash was a “possibility” but that editors had “not definitively identified” the cause of the crash.

According to a ‘Prince’ Managing Editor who asked to be identified solely by her title, Cohen requires ‘Prince’ editors to make weekly sacrifices of valuable items to the shrine in order to keep the website up and running. Past sacrifices reportedly include full Fresca bottles, a rare hard copy of a ‘Prince’ issue from 1895, journalistic integrity and the Prox.

*Just in case you’re a reporter for The Daily Caller looking to dig up dirt, please note that this article is part of The Daily Princetonian’s annual joke issue. Use discretion before citing.


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