The 11 best quotes from Susan Patton’s new book

If you haven’t yet had the time to preorder Susan Patton’s new self-help book, “Marry Smart,” and are just itching to get your hands on it, fear not! The Prox brings you some of the book’s greatest gems of advice and wisest words of counsel.

1. “The likelihood is that after a while even the most Thrilling Circus Sex with Mr. Macho will become Mechanical Boring Sex with Annoying Dumb Guy.” (6)

 

2. “Of course, there were also a few women who everyone knew had been around more than the drum on a clothes dryer.” (21)

 

3. “For men, there is very little that trumps free sex with a woman who is easier to make than a peanut butter sandwich.” (21)

 

4. “The 1970s was a seriously unattractive decade, and very few people can pull off that black shirt/white suit look with any aplomb.” (51)

 

5. “If you associate too closely with a man who is significantly below your intellectual level, you will eventually get stupid juice all over you.” (63)

 

6. “I understand that not everyone gets into Princeton. I frequently say that to people who went to Harvard. It makes their heads explode.” (68)

 

7. “So I buttoned my blouse, bought a case of Enfamil, and happily bottle-fed my bouncing baby boy.” (92)

 

8. “If you don’t like your friends, your family, your home, your clothes, your body, your life … chances are you belong in a heated building designed for rearing delicate plants.” (97)

 

9.“Answer honestly … would the man you’re dating push his meatball to your side of the plate?” (102)

 

10. “So you and the other spinsters-in-training can drown your sorrows in another cocktail and then share a cab home to the Upper West Side.” (118)

 

11. “A plopper. A big lump that goes plop! A grossly overweight person.” (173)

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